In a world where characters are supposed to be flat, plots predictable and action sequences utterly boring, "The Crazies" might be considered a decent movie. Sadly, this is not that world, and for those unfortunate enough to have to sit through the entirety of "The Crazies," one can only tip a metaphorical hat and offer sympathies for the horrifying experience.
In the film, a virus has struck a small town, and everyone who catches it turns into a serial killer. The sheriff (Timothy Olyphant) has to band together with his wife Judy (Radha Mitchell), who is the town doctor; her assistant at the medical center, Becca (Danielle Panabaker); and his deputy, Russell (Joe Anderson), to struggle against the people gone crazy — which is everyone except themselves — as well as a hostile government trying to contain the disaster.
"The Crazies" is a remake of the 1973 horror film of the same name. Apparently, the filmmakers decided they needed to update the film with some good old 21st−century bad moviemaking. The movie feels like five− to 15−minute chunks of horror scenes clumsily glued together by a truly awful plot.
Perhaps this movie is trying to expose the jaded nature of the contemporary audience, and how much its members have become desensitized to violence, like the town's crazies. It is honestly hard to pay attention to the time after time in which something both horrifyingly bloody and boring happens.
Another part of the problem is the film's characters. To call them flat is an insult to cardboard everywhere. If there were a warehouse where characters could be bought, these would be purchased from the clearance section. At one point, the sheriff rescues his wife. This, along with Olyphant's rugged good looks, is his characterization — he's the guy who rescues his wife. This might be enough for a minor character, but for a lead?
The deputy does a better job as comic relief. Some of Anderson's jokes approach the line at which one might reasonably laugh at them (and not out of pity). In the second half of the movie, something approaching a plot twist occurs; in this section, Anderson actually demonstrates some good acting that could make the viewer care more about him and the people around him. Such empathy is refreshing, especially given the film's female characters, whose purpose in "The Crazies" is to scream, get rescued and make irrational decisions.
The movie does try to keep suspense up with some Hollywood tricks: There is scary music, sudden flashes of movement designed to shock the audience out of apathy, blood and corpses. After some time, the crazies begin to look like zombies for reasons unknown — perhaps the filmmakers decided to drop the pretension that this was anything other than a fourth−rate zombie survival movie.
Occasionally, an overhead shot zooms out, and some ominous government message pops up on a green overhead map of the area. In retrospect, these elements were probably designed to generate fear and excitement, but they don't do their job well enough.
Fear and excitement are the least likely effects this movie would have on the viewer. The lack of emotion is a shame, because even with all its absurd number of flaws, "The Crazies" could still be worth watching as mindless entertainment. The real problem is that the film is such a bore. No movie this tedious and formulaic is worth watching, although it would certainly make a wonderful addition to any Bad Movie Night lineup.
