I can't begin to count the number of times I have had to put on the O face knowing that the sounds and expressions I would make were completely fake. All too often, men believe they are the gift that keeps on giving and that their tongue and penis have the magical powers to make us come on contact. Sorry to burst your mythological bubble, but 70 to 80 percent of women do not have orgasms during sexual intercourse.
A majority of the time you're getting down, we are concocting the perfect time to pull the plug on the evening activities. Men are aroused when they hear our vocal chords start to ring, but all too often, we are just trying to hurry the process. So for all the ladies who are tired of acting, I propose some activities in the bedroom that will finally allow you to retire the act.
Women know all too well that we can easily lose motivation to have sex. One thing comes up, and we are suddenly fixated on the issue at hand. A woman will never be able to come if she isn't in the mood. The key to a successful evening is to relax, whether it's your favorite ballad by John Mayer or candles that do the trick. You will never climax when you are fixated on mentally balancing your checkbook.
As stress is put aside, it is time to focus on actually getting you to come. For those who have a hard time getting off during intercourse, I suggest that you incorporate some pulsating motion in your routine. Because most women need clitoral stimulation to come, try using a clit vibrator. The force of that plastic prince will have you believing in happily ever after. The best positions to use this toy against your clit is doggy style, cowgirl or when he positions his hips perpendicular to the bed so you can lay on your back while he stands off the bed. Any other position might have him getting in the way. Once you have experienced the combination of sex and vibration, you will find every avenue possible to combine the two without interference. If you feel uncomfortable investing in a purchase that requires an appearance at an adult store, Trojan sells a vibrating cock ring that targets clitoral stimulation. This accessory is available adjacent to the condoms, so even he can pick it up on his next run to the drug store.
If you happen to feel uncomfortable incorporating toys, either you or your partner can physically stimulate the clit. To double your pleasure, doggy style allows for deep penetration while granting easy access to the clitoral region. While the partner is coming in from behind, he or she can wrap an arm around the side and place it directly on the designated area. If you need some creative inspiration, Sexinfo101.com provides animated sexual positions that accommodate female pleasure.
Stimulating the clit is an art, so your strokes will make or break a masterpiece. A circular motion with the middle finger provides an excellent sensation. A steady motion is important; playing disc jockey with the clit is not arousing. Do not be in sync with the sexual motion -- no matter how hard or rapid the sex may be, jarring our most sensitive area will cause a loss in libido.
As you are closer to climaxing, try slowly inhaling. This relaxing technique will provide for a longer and more enjoyable orgasm. Heavy breathing and excess anxiety cause the orgasm to lose its zeal. It's really important to note that it takes a while for women to climax. The most exquisite art is never created in a few minutes; it takes patience, inspiration and motivation to complete a masterpiece. Art is derived from the intricate details, so I suggest that you invest considerable time into your work.
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Logan Crane is a junior majoring in political science. She can be reached at Logan.Crane@tufts.edu.
