I spent this past Saturday at MIT with dozens of people I recognize, admire and mainly envy. Here's what I learned about some of them:
Let's just say Memphis Grizzlies General Manager Chris Wallace has earned his reputation. He uses the phrase "no questions answered," he openly admits that he lived with his parents until he was 31 and he discusses how he makes sure during interviews to bind his papers in the finest of leathers. He's like a character from a Judd Apatow joint.
Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke is the man. The Leafs are mediocre this year, but he finds ways to have his teams entertain even when they're not winning. He makes sure that his team leads the league in fighting majors every year and that they have marquee players. On Saturday, he discussed how every contact point in the arena, from the mascot to the music, is thought out specifically with fans in mind. He knows that over 30 years, every team will average a .500 record and one championship, so it's a matter of how you draw fans outside of that championship year. He also requires all of his players to perform community service so the public finds his teams likeable.
Jeff Van Gundy gets the business on the regular. Rockets GM Daryl Morey, who organized the conference, asked Van Gundy, "What record would you have over 30 years?" Van Gundy's first words of the day: "Well, you fired me." When the subject turns back to fighting in hockey, Bill Simmons says that he misses fights in basketball. He then imitates Van Gundy's finest moment as Knicks coach -- on the floor holding on to Alonzo Mourning's leg amidst a classic Knicks vs. Heat brawl.
Simmons doesn't comprehend the simple laws of supply and demand. He can't understand why leagues charge so much for their tickets. He also believes that the high MLB and NBA ticket prices will get them in trouble. Burke, of course, responded to this by explaining that sports tickets are one of the most price-sensitive commodities in any industry, and prices would fall immediately if the demand weren't there.
Ray Allen is willing to beg Gillette for an endorsement. It got kind of awkward when the Gillette representative wasn't too receptive. Sorry, Ray, but you're not in Derek or Tiger's one-name class.
Mark Cuban is unreal. He has no fear. He openly proclaimed Saturday that the Kevin Garnett trade only happened because of the McHale/Ainge relationship, went on a mini-rant about the refs and said that the NBA is incestuous -- nepotism without the relationships. He's probably the most basketball-savvy owner in the game. He addressed the main problem with most people's view of basketball stats -- "Players don't get you wins; teams get you wins." He talked about the stats the Mavs cook up, which measure how a player does with certain rotations and the differences in production when that player is on and off the floor. Ultimately, he understands the business. He knows that teams are more profitable when they're constantly losing and rebuilding because their payroll can be at the salary floor, but he doesn't care about the value of wins. He just wants a championship, and that's why he traded for Jason Kidd. Aside from me, he was the most casually dressed person at the conference. And at lunch, I'm sitting a table away from him and it dawns on me that the man is worth $2 billion.
It was a pretty solid day. The main thing I learned was that I had no business being there, but I'm definitely looking forward to being the least important person in the room again next year.
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Jeremy Greenhouse is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major. He can be reached at Jeremy.Greenhouse@tufts.edu.
