In the world of technical advancement, the engineers of our era are finding ways to complicate the dating process. Traditional courtship is forever changed due to social networking conglomerates such as Facebook.com and MySpace.com and electronic communication methods like text messaging.
Romance is no longer unexpected surprises or a dozen roses delivered in person, but a thoughtful e-mail or an "I'm thinking of you" text. Modern technology has eliminated the personal gestures and touch from the once-imaginable conception of romance. The way in which we date and fall in love is completely different from that of our parents' generation.
The intended purpose of text messaging was to allow people to communicate when unable to speak. Text messaging has essentially replaced the effort to call and in theory provides a scapegoat. Whether you are canceling a date or fearful that it's too early to call and say "I miss you," text messaging provides the easy alternative. It creates a false confidence; too often we send and receive flirtatious texts that would never have been said in person.
Facebook is the center of our social universe. In many ways, our profile defines our character, interests and relationships with others. The social network is a normal person's tabloid that we willingly participate in. Our wall posts, pictures and statuses are used as a first impression. Facebook has shaped our interactions with others and has had a detrimental effect on the way we view relationships, flirtatious acts and dating.
Certain components of Facebook have been considered a form of flattery, including friendship requests, "poking" and sending enticing messages. What we used to learn on first dates and through spending time with each other can now easily be found with a simple friendship confirmation. By the time we actually meet the person, we already know their personal history, current hookups and social network.
A list of dilemmas presents itself when becoming emotionally involved with a significant other. Most have had the status discussion of whether or not to identify their current relationship on Facebook. Much concern is stressed on the meaning of electronic definition. Should you be "In a Relationship with (insert name)?" There comes a point in the beginning of a relationship when most couples have to decide if they want to display their love on Facebook. If they decide to confirm their relationship status, they have allowed the public full access into their love life.
Allowing a relationship to flourish via your profile renders it public knowledge. Many relationships in college don't last, and electronically displaying your love for another can set you up for humiliation. Breaking up is difficult as is, and so many of us have had to experience the "Logan Crane is no longer listed as 'In a Relationship'" on the news feed. Then begins the outpouring of messages, texts and calls asking what happened. Breakups have become publicly humiliating, and Facebook has put such an impersonal touch on the process.
Whether it is the dating process or falling in love, evolving technology continuously changes the way in which we interact with others. Hollywood romance has been replaced with love e-mails and quirky text messages. Technical advancements have morphed the dating process and shifted personal gestures from individual interaction to electronic exchange. As easy as it is to rely on technology, the key to a successful relationship and dating experience is personal effort. Electronic messages will never suffice, nor will they replace spontaneous actions, surprises and personal thought. No matter how romantic or thoughtful you tried to be in an e-mail or text, making an effort outside the cyber world is always more satisfying.
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Logan Crane is a junior majoring in political science. She can be reached at Logan.Crane@tufts.edu.
