D ear SOS,
These past few months of college have just flown by, and I haven't really had a chance to stop and breathe. I'll be heading home next week for the first time since I got here, but I'm a little anxious about re-acclimating to a couple of things: namely parentally enforced curfews, meal times and my friends' and family's reaction to my new collegiate self. Can you help me make this transition a little smoother?
Sincerely,
T-Giving Turnaround
Dear T-Giving Turnaround,
The first time returning home after having spent a couple of months at college can be a very defining moment for many Jumbos and their parents. Often armed with a bevy of collegiate vernacular (read: "shitfaced," "pregame," "'ruit," "Blackboard" and "SIS"), an innovative display of facial-hair growth or an infectious case of the whooping cough (thanks to Health Service's new favorite medication: "plenty of sleep"), many students will return to the homeland seeming a little out of character to Mom and Pop. Although cutting right to the chase is an optimal way to ask Calc 11 girl to your frat formal or to remove a Band-Aid, it may not be the best way to inform the 'rentz about that SURPRISE!: You've turned into a legitimate adult, capable of making some not-so-legitimate decisions.
The primary topic of contention you will encounter upon your first homecoming will undoubtedly pertain to your re-acclimation into the world of partial freedom. Even if your parents are as lackadaisical as mine, you can bet that they will still be interested in where you're going and when you're coming home — it makes them feel all knowledgeable and protective once again.
I remember that my first time home, such perpetual curiosity about my whereabouts really struck a chord with me: "WHY DO YOU CARE WHERE I'M GOING? I've been living on my own for three whole months now — how do you know I haven't been roaming the streets of Boston participating in myriad forms of debauchery, sleeping on the banks of the Charles River and trudging back to my dorm at 9 the next morning??? Huh???" Looking back, that probably wasn't the best tactic. Instead, I'd recommend keeping Ma and Pa informed of your whereabouts just to entertain their parental instincts. And hey, if you forget your key, all it takes is a ring of a doorbell, not some sketchy piggy-backing maneuver on your random dorm-mate's fob.
The second obstacle I come to is hair growth. If your parents are anything like mine (ex-hippies from California who collect life-size mannequins and taxidermy peacocks), I'd say NBD, let your tangled tresses be. But for anyone with more traditional parental units, I'd suggest that you clean yourself up a BIT before returning home — you don't want to wake up to the sound or sight of a hair buzzer inching toward you in your sleep.
The final issue I come to is that of imbibing with the family. For many students, their first visit home marks the first time their family lets them consume alcohol in their presence. For many parents, their once-beloved "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy gets thrown by the wayside once they've realized that your Saturday nights no longer consist of what they assumed to be "ice cream socials" and "slumber parties," but rather of games of kings and occasional keg stands.
But this doesn't mean that once the 'rentz have set out the wine glasses, you can jump right into a game of flip-cup or divvy out the libations through a good 'ole game of "slap the bag." Actually, scratch that, if your family actually serves boxed wine on T-Giving, then I'd say anything goes: Where'd they put the turkey baster?
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Charlotte Steinway is a junior majoring in sociology. She can be reached at Charlotte.Steinway@tufts.edu.
