Top Ten | People Who Should Appear in a Comic Book

    Stephen Colbert is set to appear in "The Amazing Spider-Man" comic book release mid-October, and that got us thinking. If Marvel can boost their readership by including this popular television personality, they might be able to make a habit of including real-life celebrities in the superhero world. We at the Daily Arts Department have some ideas, and they are arranged in order of who will look best in tights:

10. Don Rickles: Because he's so old, his whole life seems to be one big senior moment. With all of the insults and shenanigans this man pulls off (think Emmy Awards two weeks ago), a comic book seems to be the only thing that could capture this man's personality.
9. Barry Bonds: He's big, he's buff and he can hit a ball out of a ballpark. Superman could use his super strength as a backup in case he gets a leg cramp. The only things we don't know is how Barry will explain those blood stains on his butt...

8. Dwight Schrute: Someone this weird doesn't belong in the real world. His knowledge of bears, beets and Battlestar Galactica could prove powerful in the world of superheroes and villains. Not to mention his prowess as a volunteer sheriff deputy (on weekends). We'd like to see him throwing jello and maybe shooting lasers from his giant specs. Let's face it, being a comic book character is probably his life's dream anyway.
7. Super-Jesus: Ah whatever, the "super" doesn't really mean anything anyway; broham can already turn water into wine. Now, what I really want to see is a frat boy who can turn human urine into Natty Light. That's what I call an alternative energy source, WOOO COLLEGE.

6. Keith Olbermann: Keith Olbermann is actually Super-Jesus, so, I don't see why he's on here twice.

5. Michael Cera: What could possibly make this man-boy more awkward, thus more awesome? Answer: a comic book detailing all of his awkward Hollywood stunts.
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger: This wouldn't take much effort at all. He's got the voice, the disproportioned bodybuilder physique and a superhero name: The Governator. When evil robots take over California, you know who will be there to stomp them out.

3. Jemaine Clement: He's already got a super-hero name (Hip-hiphopopopotamus) and the power to seduce the ladies with his clever outfits, catchy rhymes and geeky disguise. Plus, who else could possibly save the world from the imminent robotic uprising of the year 2000?

2. Sarah Palin: Read in shock and awe as Wasilla-Woman mauls a moose, forces teens into loveless marriages, high-fives Russia, shotguns a beer, then empties a can of hairspray on her head. After all, there's no hole in the ozone layer, you freedom-hating commie.

1. Natalie Portman: It's bad enough she was a sci-fi nerd pinup in the "Star Wars" prequels, but seeing Natalie drawn in comic style (aka physically impossible proportions) might open a fifth dimensional black hole and cause the galaxy to implode upon itself. It's kind of risky, but it would make for a great special edition issue.