Sex is a part of college life for many Jumbos. Often times, these sexual relationships leave unintended negative emotional consequences, which can affect the ability to maintain a healthy mental, emotional and spiritual balance necessary for having happy marital relationships in the future. While contraception can protect against STDs, sex is far from "safe." Contraceptives cannot protect against the psychological sense of loss and betrayal that accompanies hookups and breakups. Abstinence is a realistic and basic principle preceding sexual happiness that anyone could follow even with the expectations that come with college.
Our generation engages in sexual activity, even as early as middle school, because of the overarching belief that it is healthy and natural to express one's sexuality and that adolescents who engage in sexual activity are happier than those who "can't get any" or practice voluntary celibacy.
However, this is not true. Premarital sexual behavior can negatively affect emotional and mental health. Sexual activity in both men and women involves the release of powerful bonding hormones that help married couples build trust and stay together permanently. Within marriage, these bonds are a cause of joy and harmony, but for unmarried couples, such bonds can cause serious problems. When people break up from sexual relationships, the partners often feel a palpable sense of loss and betrayed trust and are left to deal with the unwelcome memories.
Conversely, couples who abstain from sexual activity have unexpected benefits in their relationships. Abstaining from sex helps build commitment, trust and respect, as both partners realize that their partner is not "just in it for the sex." In addition, the couple avoids unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and the risk of blurring the distinction between infatuation and true holistic love focused around the whole person. Abstinence can result in better communication between partners and certainly better sex in future marriages because one is free from regrets and unwanted memories of past sexual experiences.
The notion that contraceptives would make STDs and unintended pregnancies almost inconsequential is false. Even the most effective methods of birth control can fail, especially when they are used improperly, as is often the case. Condoms work best against HIV, but they are ineffective against HPV, the new epidemic STD among young adults. Forty-six percent of young sexually active women acquire HPV from their first sexual relationship. Now there is a vaccine available which is effective at preventing the strains of HPV that are responsible for about 70 percent of cervical cancer cases, although it is ineffective against other cancer-causing strains.
The male latex condom has a current failure rate of 14 percent; the pill, five percent; the female condom, 21 percent; the diaphragm, 20 percent. Overall, barrier methods are the best protection against sexually transmitted diseases; however, they are much less effective in preventing pregnancy than other forms of contraception. Unfortunately, 54 percent of women who had abortions reported having used contraception during the month they got pregnant. Hopefully, these rates of contraceptive failure will decline in the future.
Many adolescents are "hooking up" instead of having sexual intercourse to avoid psychological distress and STDs. However, the intense emotional bonding associated with sexual intercourse also results during mutual sexual activity that culminates in an orgasm. In addition, the possibility of contracting STDs is even higher from anal sex than it is from vaginal sex; and oral sex, without protection, could transmit most STDs that one can get from intercourse.
Abstinence is therefore the only 100 percent effective way to avoid pregnancy and STDs. Women who received sex education from schools providing primarily abstinence information or contraception and abstinence information equally reported fewer unplanned pregnancies than those who received primarily contraceptive information. Sexual abstinence lowers the chances of one having a divorce and suffering from marital infidelity problems.
Having multiple sexual partners is strongly associated with increased depression, greater likelihood of maternal poverty, and higher rates of marital infidelity and divorce in future marriages. According to a Heritage Foundation study based on a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services survey, women who had more non-marital sexual partners are less likely to have stable marriages. Stability was defined as being in the same marriage for at least five years. Over 80 percent of the women who had never had a non-marital partner were in stable marriages. By contrast, only 30 percent of the women with five non-marital sex partners were in stable marriages.
The reality is that many adolescents suffer from the negative effects of having sex before marriage. Even with education about contraception, many suffer emotionally from their decisions to give in too early, to the wrong person or too easily and feel disappointment, anger or depression. An alternative path would be to commit yourself to an abstinence ethic of waiting for your future spouse. Just because you have had sex in past relationships does not mean that you have to do the same in the future.
--Anna Kim is a senior majoring in International Relations.
