Looking ahead to the new season of "The Sarah Silverman Program," which premiered last night, Sarah Silverman sat down to talk about her show and her other recent project, The Great Schlep.
From her explanation, the show looks to cover topics such as Mongolia, turtles, Osama and pubic hair. She also shared her thoughts on outrageous comedy and kids who cry over biscotti. Question: How did you get involved with the "Great Schlep" project? Sarah Silverman: There were some people who were indirectly involved in the Obama campaign who supported the idea, and they came to me and I was so excited. I really wanted to be able to do something and I just thought, well, the people who like me are probably already voting for Obama, but when they explained that the people who vote in Florida are these elderly Jews and they're not planning on voting [for] Obama because his name is scary and there's so much misinformation about him. But, on the other hand, a hundred of their grandkids probably love Obama, so I thought it was a great grassroots idea and I felt like I could actually help. Most of that video was actually shot in my living room, and I'm starting to actually feel like Osama bin Laden: I never leave my apartment and I make videos. Q: You use a lot of racial jokes and racial slurs, and you were called out for using one on "Conan O'Brien" a number of years back, but do you think being a comedian allows you to say these things most people would get brutalized for? SS: I don't think that me being comedian gives me any sort of license, but I think that there's a difference between people reacting to buzz words and people listening to the context of the joke, and seeing that the butt of the joke is always myself, and I'm the ignoramus of the joke. I either say what I mean or the opposite of what I mean ... but certainly the joke in question was not a racist joke, it was a joke about an idiot, who was me. Q: Why do you think that kids these days seem to just not care about politics? SS: It's certainly no fault of theirs; I just think that each generation gets raised by the generation before them, and this generation is raised by parents who say, "My kid NEEDS this and this and this." I have a friend who grew up in Brooklyn, and had a really tough childhood, is full of character and everything, and now he's rich, and his kids fly first class, and his kids cry because they want a biscotti. There has to be some kind of balance; I'm not saying be hard on your kids but ... first of all, these kids are all f--king fat. There is no more teasing the fat kid because we're all the fat kid, and it's scary. This is the first generation that isn't going to live, on average, as long as their parents live. What the hell am I talking about? I should be plugging my show! Q: What kind of topics are going to be brought up on this season of "The Sarah Silverman Program?" SS: Let's see ... [in] the first episode I spend the day with Brian smoking pot and solving crimes. In the second episode I sue Mongolia for rape. The third episode is when I dump all my friends and decide to make new friends. Then there's an episode where I wet my bed and I need to learn to stop wetting the bed so I can babysit my friend's turtle. There's an episode where I'm homeless because I lost my keys. I probably shouldn't be going through them like this, but there's another one where I keep thinking I'm seeing Osama bin Laden and happen to run him over with my car ... Oh, and Laura shaves her pubes. But it's heartbreaking because her bush was her memory of her mother; it's so sweet. Pubes with heart. Q: How did you get your start in comedy and the television business? SS: I went to summer school at Boston University Theater Institute when I was 17, and that was the first time I did stand-up. Then I moved to New York when I was 18 and just started doing stand-up anywhere I could get on stage, I passed out flyers for a comedy club to get stage time. I went to college one year, and then my dad said that if I dropped out of college, he would pay my rent and utilities for my next three years, so I took him up on that, and by the time I would have graduated, when I was 22, I was hired as a writer at "Saturday Night Live." I still stole school, though, because school is so expensive, and you can go to the big lecture classes on things you like and they don't take attendance, and you can just learn for free. Q: How are you feeling about the Grammy win and your other two nominations? SS: I'm delighted we won for "I'm F--king Matt Damon." It was bizarre, and we were up against great Flight of the Conchords songs, but it was really neat to be a part of this fancy night. I'm happy? I wish I had a more fulfilling answer. Q: What did you think of the Palin/Biden debate from an entertainment standpoint? SS: I wish she wasn't so polished. She's really scary and I hate the thought that she might be appealing, but the truth is she has charisma, and Joe Biden is awesome, but he doesn't have that actor thing going on; Palin does, she's from pageants. I hope that doesn't trick people: She charges women for rape kits! She's a f--king monster!
Since it's been announced that Tim Burton's next film will be a reimagining of "Alice in Wonderland," starring, of course, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and, surprisingly enough, Anne Hathaway, we here at the Daily got to thinking: What other classic inspirations could his delightfully sick and twisted mind come up with? What follows are just a few of the infinite possibilities. 10. "The Lorax": Dr. Seuss's message against industrialized society is right up Burton's alley, and who wouldn't want to see Johnny Depp as a two-foot-tall furry creature railing against the evil Once-ler? Hey, they might even be able to re-use that Freddie Highmore kid that was Charlie in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (2005). 9. "Hop On Pop": Another Seuss classic, the whole point of this book was to inform children that sometimes it's OK to hop on Pop. The only thing we fear is that if Burton got his hands on it, it would become some strange pseudo-sexual thriller, with Pop doing the hopping... 8. "Hansel and Gretel": This would be the feel-good movie of the summer with Burton at the helm. That is, if Hayden Christensen could be tapped to play Hansel. That's what you get for messing up "Star Wars," you jerk. 7. "The BFG": Ignoring the fact that Roald Dahl's psyche was hideously scarred by his most interesting childhood, Burton's take on the tale of the Big Friendly Giant and a little girl could be perfection. The kicker: Yao Ming as the BFG, Rockets jersey and all, and the proportions would be appropriate for Depp as the little girl (come on, he could grow out his hair...). 6. "A Series of Unfortunate Events": So for all of you who hated the Jim Carrey version, why not replace Carrey with Johnny Depp as the evil Count Olaf? Maybe now he will actually be evil and scary, rather than just a buffoon in a bunch of different disguises. Plus, imagine how cool the castle would look after having gone through the mind of Burton. 5. "The Giver": Burton would take out all the ambiguity: The kid dies in the end. In the snow. In the dark. 4. "The Sound of Music": Burton's "Sweeney Todd" (2007) reaffirmed his love of musicals, so why not have him take the reins for a remake of this family classic? Sure, Helena Bonham Carter might be a twisted take on Julie Andrews' melodic nun, but we'd sure love to see her twirling about the mountainside, her hair in that permanently windswept (or electrified) do. 3. "Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase": We all agree that Nancy needs to be less perky -- put Helena Bonham Carter in peroxide and add gratuitous creaking staircase effects. 2. "The Little Prince": This cute little story has tons of potential, but St. Exupéry's illustrations leave a little to be desired. First, have a snake actually eat an elephant and there will be no confusion pertaining to hats. The little asteroid could also use a few more volcanoes, and replace the flower with a scantily-clad Carter. Even if "the essential is invisible to the eyes," can't it be both? I mean, this is Tim Burton we're talking about! 1. "Where the Wild Things Are": If anyone could bring the dark, fantastical world of this children's bedtime tale to life, it would be Burton. The big dispute would most certainly be: Animation or actors? We're for the latter, as it might lead to Johnny Depp in a large furry suit...
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Dear unborn fetus of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz,
First of all, we here at the Daily are eagerly anticipating the announcement of your name. If Pete Wentz's track record with Fall Out Boy is any indication, we're looking at a 13-to-15 word name that includes a mediocre pun or an in-joke that's over the heads of us simpletons. We were thinking of something like the track "I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me" from your sophomore album, "From Under the Cork Tree" (2005), except maybe a tad more pertinent.
How does "I Slept with Ashlee Simpson for Press Coverage and Now I Have to Spend the Next 18 Years of my Life Raising The Most Beautiful Little Mistake I Should Have Considered before I Tried So Hard to Touch Her Boobs (oh crap)" sound? You could just use the parenthesized title as a nickname.
You're also going to be the cutest little emo baby the world has ever seen. As soon as your bangs grow out long enough, mommy and daddy can give you your first emo-swoosh, and teach you how to look lost and lonely. Then again, it's probably going to be rough growing up, because your dad might cry more than you, or expect you to express your emotions through witticisms before you even know how to make poopoo in the toilet like a big boy.
Oh well, at least you'll have a MILF. Your mom has a really cute sister she could hook you up with too. Yours in love and death, The Daily Arts Department
