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The Tufts Daily
Where you read it first | Monday, September 16, 2024

Gideon Jacobs | Baseball, Football and Poop Jokes

Baseball is not a movie script. The team that should win sometimes doesn't. The team that more people are rooting for often comes up short. The good guys can lose, and the bad guys can have the last laugh. It sucks, but it's baseball. It's a game of effort, skill and a ton of luck.
    But every so often a team comes along and changes this equation. It defies the laws of the "game of inches" and somehow wills itself to victory. When this sort of team appears, you can throw the numbers out the window. You can forget about matchups and coaching. You can ignore all other teams entirely. None of it matters. What matters is that the childlike belief in destiny somehow manifests itself among men — grown men with egos and salaries. You can feel this force in the players and the fans. There's nothing more powerful in sports. It has won improbable championship after improbable championship. It has fueled every great run in the history of competition.
    I saw it early with the Rays. I was watching a game in August that they were dominating. It was one of those games where they were firing on all cylinders to the point where players were giddy with excitement. The camera flashed to the dugout and panned across the confident grins of Joe Maddon, Evan Longoria, James Shields, Scott Kazmir and the rest, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I turned to my mom and said, "Is there any doubt this team is going to win it all?" 
    My mom, who is a sharp baseball lady, told me I was crazy (she likes the Cubs over the Red Sox in six). But no prediction I have ever made had ever seemed so obvious.
    They have the "it" — the special, indefinable something that turns a good team into a champion. When you look back on the season, what's the first thing you remember? The Rays. This season and our memories of it belong to them and their magical run. The Rays are a force that has been gaining steam for six months and are now on the verge of climaxing. There is no stopping this team.
    I know I'm picking against every expert, everywhere. The three favorites to win the series are the Cubs, Angels and Red Sox.
    ESPN likes the Cubbies. It likes their pitching, the weak National League and old Lou at the helm. But the worldwide leader in sports is wrong. I've never liked Soriano, Dempster or Wood in the playoffs. Zambrano and Harden have to be completely healthy for them to pull this off. Plus, it's just not their year.
    The Angels are the most complete team in baseball. They have the deepest rotation in the game as well as a solid bullpen. They can put runs up in a hurry, and Mike Scioscia is the best manager in the game. But they are like the valedictorian of your high school, almost too perfect. Their incredible rotation will falter against the big bats of the AL East and also, it's not their year.
    The Red Sox' postseason fate rests on one man's shoulders every October. It's not about Papi, Pedroia or Papelbon. It's all about Josh Beckett. His health questions are my biggest knock on their chances to repeat. Also, I don't care about Jason Bay; they are significantly weaker without Manny. It's not their year either.
    It's the Rays' year. It belongs to them and I can feel it. That team that couldn't get any fans to show up to its joke-of-a-dome is about to make history. The Rays are going to go from laughing stock to World Champions in a single season, and it's going to be a marvel to watch. Start writing the books, start crafting the rings and start printing the hats. This story is about to get even better.

 

--Gideon Jacobs is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major. He can be reached at Gideon.Jacobs@tufts.edu.