Abhorrent Thai film remake 'Bangkok Dangerous' wrecks Cage's reputation and more

    Every now and again, the action genre spits out films which feature a hardened criminal or hit man who has decided to take one last "job" and then quit the business forever. And yes, Nicholas Cage has starred in the vast majority. Of course, nothing ever goes smoothly, but over-the-top action and occasional humor tend to make these films worthwhile. "Bangkok Dangerous," however, drags on with stale acting, drab scriptwriting and just plain awful cinematography.
    "Bangkok Dangerous" was originally a Thai film made in 1999 by the Pang Brothers, who returned to the project to remake it into the biggest flop of the summer. Nicolas Cage stars but has no notable supporting actors by his side. Unrecognizable foreign actors play the other characters who either get killed or do the killing.
    The two films remain the same only in title and basic idea; most of the plot points have changed, as well as the way in which the characters are portrayed. For example, the original film portrays assassin Joe (played by Pisek Intrakanchit) as a deaf and mute hit man who falls in love with a pharmacist while working on jobs with his friend Kong (Pawalit Mongokolpisit). The new version of the movie has Cage's Joe going to Bangkok for his final job, falling in love with a deaf and mute pharmacist and hiring a con man named Kong — quite a difference.
    The movie begins as Joe blabs on about his job and the rules he lives by in order to make it work. His voice has no emotion and will surely put any viewer to sleep. Joe completes his kill with ease and then goes on to cover his tracks by snuffing the "delivery man" who brings money and supplies back and forth from the person who placed the hit. All of this action is completed at a painstakingly slow pace, making for extremely boring plot sequences.
    Joe decides to take one last job in Bangkok before he hangs up his sniper rifle for good. The job consists of four kills, and each time he receives an assignment he reminds the audience, "I don't ask why." Kong (Shahkrit Yamnarm) is one of the more interesting and entertaining characters in the film. He's trying to understand the shady nature of Joe's work while going to strip clubs to deliver and pick up packages from Surat (Nirattisai Kaljaruek), the man who puts the jobs into place. Kong falls in love with an exotic dancer, who later gets caught up in the drama surrounding the final kill.
    During all of these events, Joe meets a deaf and mute pharmacist while looking for some medicine and takes her out on a few dates. These scenes are particularly awkward and tedious, as Cage's character tries to find out what the girl wants to say. Conversations over dinner at the park and visiting family are all drawn out, and it is hard to feel any connection or chemistry between the two.
    The film does have some decent action sequences, including a boat chase that turns into a boat and motorcycle chase. It ends with Cage jumping from the motorcycle onto the boat and completing the assignment. The film also contains a strange side plot (if you could call it that) in which Joe teaches Kong how to defend himself with a weapon. The only reason provided as to why this lesson is so imperative is revealed in a line of dialogue which explains how Kong was tormented throughout his life. The scenes are unnecessary, however, as Kong does not seem to use any of what he learns for more than thirty seconds.
    "Bangkok Dangerous" is one of those films that should have never been remade. Cage's action flick is unspeakably horrendous, as "Bangkok Dangerous" makes the video-game adaptation "Hitman" (2007) look like an Oscar-winner. The film grossed the most money compared to other movies in its opening weekend, but a mere $7 million debut at a time when competition isn't all that stiff is a sure sign that, ultimately, this film won't go very far.