After hearing that Brendan Fraser was at one point the top position to play Superman in the next big-budget Hollywood superhero film, we here at the Daily were, to say the least, a bit turned off. So naturally, we compiled a list of the only 10 people who could have been worse than Fraser at stepping into the blue spandex:
10. Michael Keaton: He couldn't pull off a decent Batman even with the help of Tim Burton. Ten years later and no Tim Burton - the thought is gruesome. Then again, "Jack Frost" (1998) was a pretty awesome movie...
9. Michael Moore: Not only would the spandex be "Sicko" (2007), but Moore would also be too busy bashing the system to ever really save anyone. But what will he do when President Bush accuses him of seeking to enrich Kryptonite? Is Superman impervious to waterboarding?
8. Leslie Nielsen: Lt. Frank Drebin of "Police Squad" (1988) is about as close to a real life Superman as you can get. "Don't let me catch you guys on Earth."
7. Christopher Walken: "I've got a fever! And the only thing that can cure it is getting that Kryptonite out of my face."
6. Woody Allen: Superman has always needed some insecurities to round out his character, and superheroes need some more self-deprecating humor to take them down a notch. Maybe not so much of the daughter-marrying, though.
5. Jamie Lee Curtis: We know what you're thinking; Superman is a dude. But rumor has it Jamie Lee has the male chromosome too, which makes her superhuman in our book, though maybe not quite masculine enough to beat out Brendan Fraser.
4. Daniel Radcliffe: What's the only thing that can fight Kryptonite? Magic. In all honesty, we at the Daily feel sorry for Mr. Radcliffe because, no matter what, he will always be Harry Potter. But why not Super Harry Potter? There are probably at least ten good reasons.
3. Mike Myers: It's hard to imagine Superman speaking with a Scottish accent and making fun of midgets, so we doubt Mike Myers would even accept this role. Instead, look for him in the upcoming movie "The Love Guru" (2008), in which he plays an Indian guru and speaks with a Scottish accent while making fun of midgets.
2. Seth Green: Apparently Seth Green has been simultaneously working on a "Star Wars" cartoon for Cartoon Network as well as a "Star Wars"-themed "Family Guy" movie. What's next for this super-geek? Perhaps playing the least interesting superhero of them all is the next step.
1. Post-accident Christopher Reeve: This is too awful to even write a description for. Our whole department is going to have a reserved parking space in Hell. We can only hope it's a handicapped one, at least.
