I think it's time for me to admit that I have a problem.
Major League Baseball's regular season officially began yesterday in Tokyo, at 6 a.m. EST. For most fans, the time difference brought a serious dilemma: Do you miss the Red Sox-Athletics season opener, prolonging your miserable five-month offseason one more day? Or do you bravely set that alarm and wake up at the crack of dawn?
I chose neither.
Dear readers, as I sit down to begin writing this column, it is 5:19 a.m. I have decided to pull an all-nighter to watch baseball. This is a first.
So for those of you with the sanity to sleep through the season opener (and I can't blame you - after all, they play 161 more of these things), I give you the next best thing: my running commentary. Here goes...
5:21 a.m.: Interesting lineups. Can't say I much care for Jacoby Ellsbury batting eighth (behind Varitek, for crying out loud?). A 1-2 punch of Ellsbury/Pedroia would be perfect, and Youkilis could bat fifth behind Manny, no? Oh well. At least we're not batting Mark Ellis second (OBPs the past two seasons: .319 and .336). When did Moneyball become Outsball?
5:29: I'm falling asleep here. I can't believe I'm doing this. Perhaps one Mountain Dew wasn't enough...
5:41: Apparently Drew is scratched for today, and Brandon Moss is in? Most Sox fans would be rejoicing right now - not me. I think Drew gets a bad rap. The man can flat-out get on base. Second-best sixth hitter in the league, behind Miguel Cabrera.
5:52: Is there anyplace I can get coffee on campus at 5:52 in the morning? No? Didn't think so. Sigh.
6:07: Pedroia slaps one up the middle! We're underway. 162-0, here we come.
6:14: Groundout, popout, flyout. We're ruined. Season's over.
6:21: Remind me never to make fun of Mark Ellis again. Into the front row in left-center... 1-0 Oakland. Why did I stay up for this again?
6:26: Walk, hit-by-pitch, wild pitch, another walk. Isn't Daisuke supposed to be good in Japan?
6:29: Nice barehand catch there, Daisuke... but it's 2-0 A's. This was a poor choice.
6:58: Another inning, another ugly jam. Daisuke strikes out Jack Cust looking to escape the second, but not before loading the bases. Through two innings: 60 pitches - 30 strikes, 30 balls. Walked four and hit one. Tavarez is warming up. It's gonna be a long year. Also, I'm tired.
7:32: Out of the fourth, one-two-three. Daisuke's settled down - he's locating his pitches much better now. Meanwhile Blanton's looking really solid for Oakland.
7:59: The bats are alive! Pedroia doubled to right to lead off the sixth - Youkilis walked, and Manny doubled them both home. We're tied, 2-2.
8:03: Base hit for Moss! 3-2 Sox. I'm so happy I stayed up for this.
8:12: Kyle Snyder comes in for Daisuke... and gets hammered right away. Bobby Crosby singles, and Jack Hannahan goes deep to right to make it 4-3 Oakland. Innings five and six are going to be the Sox' weakness this season. The back-innings combo of Delcarmen, Okajima and Papelbon is lights-out, but what else is there?
8:41: The A's have gotten out of the eighth, and it's still 4-3. They've gotten two and a third innings of one-hit relief from... Alan Embree and Keith Foulke? Is this some kind of cruel joke? I'm not laughing.
8:54: Ninth inning. In comes Huston Street. Backs to the wall. Lowell flies out... one away.
8:57: Brandon Moss! Deep to right and gone - his first major-league homer. We're tied 4-4. New life! (Side note: Listen to this crowd. Red Sox Nation, meet the real Red Sox Nation. It's called Japan.)
9:02: In comes Okajima for the bottom of the ninth. I'm nervous. I don't know why.
9:13: On to the tenth. I want to sleep here, damn it. Someone win this game soon, okay?
9:27: MANNY! Two on and two out, and everyone's favorite cleanup hitter drives a double to the wall in center. Two runs score. It's 6-4 Sox in the tenth. Papelbon anyone?
9:29: A's call to the bullpen for... Lenny DiNardo? The Sox rejects just keep coming. And ironically, they're the only ones that can get anyone out.
9:31: DiNardo gets Moss to end the top of the tenth. See? What did I tell you?
9:34: In comes Cinco Ocho. They're not gonna play the Dropkick Murphys in Tokyo, are they?
9:35: Oh my. They actually are. This is amazing.
9:39: Papelbon walks Daric Barton and strikes out Jack Cust. One on, one out.
9:50: Three straight hits for the 5-6-7 of the A's order, making it 6-5 with two on and two out thanks to a clutch outfield assist from Coco Crisp. Against Papelbon? I'm losing all faith in humanity here. Please, end this game.
9:52: Kurt Suzuki grounds out to Youkilis. Game over - 6-5 Sox.
9:53: Good night. Or good morning. Or whatever.
It's official. I've waited one long winter to finally say it again: The Red Sox have the best record in baseball.
Get used to it. It's a long season.
Evans Clinchy is a junior majoring in English. He can be reached at Evans.Clinchy@tufts.edu.
