It seems these days that every celebrity feels the need to get knocked up, regardless of marriage status or, hell, whether they really even want a kid or not. Since babies are this year's hottest new accessory, it's only a matter of time before Paris Hilton starts carrying one around in place of her nasty little rat-dogs. In honor of all those starlets who have decided to go and make babies, despite the plethora of birth control options, we here at the Daily have compiled the Top Ten Celebrity Offspring.
10. Heidi Klum/Seal. Heidi Klum is everyone's favorite German supermodel and marrying Seal just sweetened the deal. Who could expect her figure would last through her first pregnancy? Auf Wiedersehen!
9. Michael Moore. The award for longest pregnancy as well as a (remarkably) male pregnancy no doubt goes to everyone's favorite liberal director Michael Moore. Seriously, when is Baby Moore going to make his debut? Though we'd love to see his next critique of current social issues, we're more eagerly anticipating the child that surely has been growing since before "Bowling for Columbine" (2002).
8. Demi Moore. When Demi posed nude (well, she covered her naughty bits with her hands) for the August, 1991 issue of "Vanity Fair,"she started an uproar over the role a pregnant sex symbol should play in American culture. While some argued that she was exploiting the natural beauty of her pregnancy, others said it was just odd to see a naked pregnant woman on the cover of a reputable magazine. The Daily arts staff is of the opinion that it is totally weird that she is now married to the kid from "That 70's Show."
7. Mary. The Immaculate Conception, possibly the least fun way to get pregnant ever, still comes in high on our list. Being imbued with the Holy Spirit can't be that bad, can it?
6. Bridget Moynihan. Although you may not know who she is at first, this is the chick who had the good fortune to get knocked up by a God among men: Tom Brady. And, as we all like to imagine when we're by ourselves late at night, the conception was far from immaculate. All kidding aside, this kid is seriously lucky. With a knockout mom and a superstar athlete father who cannot be killed by conventional weapons (they've done studies), the kid will be utterly unstoppable. Actually, maybe he'll be too unstoppable - someone should alert the army.
5. Angelina Jolie. After the brown and beige tent she wore to the Screen Actors Guild Awards, not to mention the leash that seemed to attach her to Brad the whole night, the rumors are flying about Angelina's newest (alleged) pregnancy. We here at the Daily are hoping it's twins, which would put them at an even six - or is it seven - or maybe eight? Who can keep count these days?
4. Nicole Kidman. She recently became one of the 40+ mommies that seem to be so popular in Hollywood these days with her new hubby Keith Urban. Bets are on that she sure is glad she didn't have a baby with that nut Tom Cruise. It would have a name like Nuvi and be brainwashed into Scientology like Katie Holmes.
3. Jamie Lynn Spears. Following in the footsteps of her fertile older sister, 16-year-old Jamie recently announced that she was pregnant despite being able to afford enough prophylactics to fill an empty swimming pool. She plans to keep the baby, to whom she will no doubt impart a long heritage of not attending sex-ed class. It is unclear what role Jamie's high-school boyfriend (and father of her illegitimate child) will play in the future. For now, the only casualty of the teen pregnancy has been Jamie's mother's book about raising successful children.
2. Nicole Richie. It's unclear how Nicole's walking skeleton of a body could support the socialite's lifestyle of partying, stints in rehab, and "acting" in low budget films with Paris Hilton. Her recently successful pregnancy presents a further challenge to modern science. Nicole has kept a relatively low profile after giving birth in December. Maybe she's embarrassed to be seen with her baby-daddy, Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden, whose vocal strength doesn't suggest that he's ready, or even able, to become a parent.
1. Pamela Anderson. She was pregnant, and she openly admitted it, but now she's not pregnant anymore. And her Web site is down. And her baby bump is gone. Apparently, you can do that now.
