There is always a good story behind a heist, which is probably why so many great movies focus on them. When people decide to actually go for it and steal things, whether SATs, diamonds, cars or, say, $300,000, there is usually a good story behind it.
Years down the road, Jumbos everywhere will be sitting in a theater waiting for a movie to start and see an all-too-familiar trailer: Charlize Theron stars as Jodie Nealley in a tale of a university senate, student activities and ... in big red letters, EMBEZZLEMENT. It will be epic, Theron will win an Oscar and we'll all call up our old college roommates to reminisce about that year a university employee stole $300,000.
In honor of Nealley's personal story, we've compiled a list of films highlighting some particularly notable heists. In fact, we have a list of 11, because it looks like everyone's been taking a little something extra recently.
11. "Entrapment" (1999): Sean Connery is, as per the usual, a sexy crimina. But this time, he figures he's getting a little old for all the acrobatics that come along with being a thief, so he gets Catherine Zeta-Jones to come along for the ride. Not to spoil the ending, but let's just say it has something to do with entrapment. Having people stab you in the back is never good, whether you are doing something illegal or not.
10. "The Perfect Score" (2004): Can a movie about stealing the answers to the SATs really be considered a heist movie? Yes. And who better to make stealing standardized tests look cool than Scarlett Johansson?
9. "The Sting" (1973): Not only is it about setting up an elaborate gambling sting to steal a lot of money, but it features a young Robert Redford and Paul Newman, making it quite possibly the most attractive cast ever. Looks always add a little something to a quality scam.
8. "A Fish Called Wanda" (1988): This movie blends British and American humor in all the right ways. An armed robbery plan goes totally haywire, fun is poked at speech impediments and John Cleese is hilarious. Plus a fish is a critical part of the plotline - now that's innovative.
7. "Ocean's 11, 12 and 13": Witty dialogue and intricate plots aside, the primary reason to watch any of the three Ocean's movies can be summed up in one word: Hotness. Three of the leading men were voted "Sexiest Man Alive" by People Magazine, and the "Ocean's" series does them justice with stylish suits, locations and the right amount of humor. And you can never justify throwing any of them in jail. It would just be a crime against humanity.
6. "Office Space" (1999): There are many important lessons to be learned from this '90s classic. If you plan on embezzling money from a company (or a university, for that matter), it is always important to have enough resentment/rage to take the risk. It's also always wise to consult with ex-coke dealers and magazine salesmen skilled at the art of money laundering. Then again, if you have to research the meaning of money laundering (in the midst of organizing TCU activities) you probably shouldn't be at it in the first place.
5. "Gone in 60 Seconds" (2000): A brief sex scene with a blonde Angelina Jolie and lots and lots of hot cars is enough to get anyone interested. Every good heist or scam needs a reason behind it besides just plain old greed, and Nicholas Cage sure found it: an angry foreigner holding his little brother in a junkyard. If Cage has ever actually looked "cool" in his entire life, it was here - even with the receding hairline.
4. "The Great Train Robbery" (1979): Modeled after an actual 19th-century train robbery in England - yeah, this one is legit - young Sean Connery (well, he was 49) steals a train full of gold on its way to England during the Crimean War. Remember when people just robbed trains and stole horses instead of hijacking planes and stealing nuclear weapons? Those were the days...
3. "Thomas Crown Affair" (1999): Pierce Brosnan adds class to the art of thievery in this slightly risqué detective-meets-sexy-criminal flick. While Pierce is much too classy to rob a bank or steal diamonds, he chooses instead to steal timeless, invaluable pieces of art. Here at the Daily Arts Department, we would have been seriously up in arms had Nealley chosen to steal a Monet - or worse, part of the Center of Cosmic Energy. Art is not something to kid around with, or steal, for that matter.
2. "The Killing" (1956): One of Stanley Kubrick's earlier works, this heist flick involving a scam to rip off a racetrack for $2 million (that was like a bajillion buckaroos back then) is also one of his best. Johnny Clay, an ex-con fresh out of jail, has meticulous plans for making a killing, but even his perfect execution fails to avoid a tumultuous climax. For some reason, armed robbers never really seem to stand a chance in cinema pre-1960.
1. "Inside Man" (2006): This movie had the potential to be totally amazing, starting with a star-studded cast including Denzel Washington, Jodie Foster and Clive Owen. The movie billed itself as a heist movie with one big twist, but after sitting through two hours of boring standard bank robbery, it turns out that the twist is that it's actually ... a standard heist movie. Perhaps the real twist was that Jodie Foster's character is supposed to be straight?
