Pop culture has seen the rise and fall of many and, more often than not, when icons, toys or obsessions go the way of the Furby, America mourns the loss and moves on. But then, sometimes they return.
Dancing in front of a room full of co-workers in a bikini after birthing two kids, getting a divorce, checking into rehab, and releasing a new questionable album sounds like any normal person's worst nightmare. Having Sarah Silverman model your genitalia with her lips adds a whole new dimension. Therefore, in light of Britney Spears' miraculously appalling comeback at MTV's Video Music Awards, the Daily has compiled a list of ten other less-than-commendable comebacks from some of pop-culture history's favorites just so she knows she isn't the only one.
1. Michael Jackson: Hot on the heels of the failure of MJ's 2002 comeback album "Invincible," Jacko proceeded to place the blame squarely on Sony Music chairman Tommy Mottola, saying, "they steal, they cheat, they do everything they can, especially [against] the black artists," and repeatedly hoisting signs that read, "Tommy Mottola is the devil." Apparently, Michael thought the best way to sell albums was to go for the crazy person look; actually, a completely crazy white person. Jacko's publicity stunt failed to rile up revenue for his new album, and in no time at all he was on to dangling babies from balconies for press attention. Let's not even talk about Neverland Ranch.
2. Cocaine: The white powder was wildly popular during late 1970s and well into the 1980s during the rise of the disco era. But beware; millions of dope-heads across the country have gotten back into the habit of fiending for the rock. So remember kids, if you see someone rubbing what looks like baking soda in their gums or anyone with a strangely long pinkie fingernail, they're probably dirty crack addicts nervously looking for their next fix.
3. VW Beetle: The VW Beetle was a symbol of the age. It was hip, it was colorful, it could float. Long hair, smoking weed and Woodstock just wouldn't have looked or felt the same without it. The "New Beetle" that emerged in 1998, however, is basically just a funny-looking sedan. It is insulting that the folks over at Volkswagen thought they could erase the fact that no one can obtain an amazingly vintage, properly functioning Beetle without paying millions or taking a trip to Mexico.
4. The Who: Bad timing seems to haunt this band, but they keep on keepin' on regardless of poor taste and band member loyalty. When bassist John Entwistle was found dead in his hotel room just before the start of the band's huge 2002 world tour, the two remaining members took the high road and decided to tour without him. With only half of the original members, it was pretty blatantly obvious that this group was certainly not "THE Who." If Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend had toured using a name such as "Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend play the songs of The Who," maybe it would have been a bit less of a money-grubbing sell-out. Q Magazine named The Who one of the top 50 live acts to see before you die; unfortunately, you would have had to see them before 1978 to do so. I guess it's just too bad for those of us born in 1985.
5. Bob Dylan: Now that he's on the "Never Ending Tour," Dylan has been playing huge venues, and plans to make his comeback last for all of eternity. Seeing him as a tiny figure on stage, somewhat frail and dark in a suit and black hat just isn't what comes to mind for most who still think of him as the activist bard of 60s folk. To the chagrin of fans, Dylan hardly sings his old greatest hits, and when he does, his more-than gravely voice butchers them-for him, the times are a'changin.
6. Kirstie Alley: To go from "Look Who's Talking" (1989) co-starring with John Travolta to writing a book called "How to Lose Your Ass and Regain Your Life," this actress turned self-help figure has let her career reflect nothing but her weight in recent years. Starring in a show called "Fat Actress," this comeback is nothing but a gimmick; even a "Look Who's Talking IV" would be better than this.
7. Transformers: Nothing's worse than a comeback in the form of a Michael Bay movie. When "Transformers" (2007) hit theaters this summer, millions of moviegoers were duped into spending $10 on a two hour long toy commercial.
8. John Travolta: If "Wild Hogs" (2007) was a sad and tragic attempt at a comeback, at least it was genuine. Travolta got more media attention for his recent role in "Hairspray" than he has in quite a while. Although, if an obese, middle-aged woman is the only character Travolta can still pull off, something's wrong. Maybe "Hairspray" was more an acceptance of defeat than anything else. It's clear that everyone, including Jon Travolta, knows that his time in the limelight is over. Disco is dead, John, and you're well on your way.
9. Skinny Jeans: Skinny jeans make anyone who's slightly bigger than a toothpick look as if their legs have been turned into two short, overstuffed sausages straining to support an enormously colossal derriere. Besides, no matter how hip and individual skinny jeans make you feel, they're downright impractical. For most college students, the speed at which one can remove one's clothing is directly proportional to the quality of one's social life, and the hour and a half that it will take to peel off jeans that are super-glued to ones thighs would be much better spent burning all available skinny jeans in a righteous bonfire of glory.
10. Whoopi Goldberg: After her early 90's legitimate acting career ("Sister Act" 1992)) and subsequent spree of doing voices for animated Disney characters, most had relegated Whoopi to the past. Her endearing locks, however, have reappeared on the most inane, uninteresting, whiny show on daytime Television, "The View." Unless she goes the way of Rosie and utilizes her "position" to publicly attack another overrated celebrity, Whoopi will probably will go the way of Mufasa and finally die out in the eyes of the public.
-compiled by Arts Daily Editorial Board
