Oddly enough, the characters on HBO's new drama "Tell Me You Love Me" say "I love you" quite frequently. Of the relationships featured on the show, not one suffers from a lack of love, but rather an excess of life and its crippling pressures.
The show focuses on four couples in varying stages of their relationships. It begins with David (played by Tim DeKay) and his wife Katie (Ally Walker) at their child's soccer game. David coaches with enthusiasm as Katie cheers the team on. They kiss after the team wins and exchange 'I love you's,' but it is quickly revealed that their marriage is not as perfect as it seems.
Katie leaves the bedroom and within moments her husband begins masturbating in secret. The camera pans to the doorway revealing Katie watching David in the act. In just a few seconds of soundless footage, Walker brilliantly and subtly manipulates her eyes and mouth to reveal not rage or anger but a deep sadness and pain.
Katie and David have two children whom they read to separately each night. In fact, they seem to do everything separately. Later in the episode it becomes clear that they have not had sex in a year. Further complicating their troubled marriage are concerns about their ten-year-old daughter who begins menstruation in this first episode.
Sexual and biological complications exist for Carolyn (Sonya Walger) and Palek (Adam Scott) as well. They are married and unable to conceive a child. Carolyn suspects it is Palek who is infertile and Palek's awareness of this makes him bitter and unhappy to sleep with his wife only to donate his sperm.
Carolyn and Palek are the first of the couples to be shown at relationship counseling sessions. A somewhat humorous flashback mid-session reveals that the two are blatantly lying to their doctor about their sex life as well as the aggression they feel towards one another.
Hugo (Luke Farrell Kirby), a school teacher, and Jaime (Michelle Borth), a chef, are a young, engaged couple who seem happy together. This show, however, is not about healthy relationships. Jaime overhears Hugo telling friends that he cannot imagine sleeping with only one woman for the rest of his life. Understandably upset, she questions her fianc?© who, also understandably, deflects. Then the couple goes home and has graphic, "wait...are the actors really having sex?" sex.
Sex is a crucial element in the storytelling of "Tell Me You Love Me." It is the focal point of each relationship in a differing way. One couple never has sex, their moments in bed are almost painful to watch as their distance both physically and emotionally is so palpable. The other has sex only to conceive a child, causing strains on the relationship when their efforts are repeatedly unsuccessful. While the youngest couple still very clearly and graphically enjoys having sex with one another, they do not trust each other enough to begin a monogamous marriage.
These issues are largely why the couples will all eventually see Dr. May Foster, (Jane Alexander) a woman married for 43 years who obviously still enjoys a healthy sex life. One of the last scenes of the first episode shows the gray-haired woman in her sixties doing things that none of the ladies on "The Golden Girls" ever did on screen, not even Blanche.
Though the graphic sex scenes (especially those that feature people who resemble many of our grandparents) may isolate some viewers, the show is ultimately gripping because the problems each couple faces are so real. Even if one has not experienced exactly the same situations, common fears about relationships are exposed and questions that most couples don't want to ask themselves are asked.
At one point David tells his wife "I love you. I love you. And too bad that's not enough." His statement seems to get at the heart of this show. Love is important, but for each of these characters, it may not be enough.
