If the title doesn't give it away, the tone and central concept of "Shoot 'Em Up," writer-director Michael Davis' first foray into the world of studio filmmaking, are established early on. From there, the movie pushes each as far as it will go.
There is something to be said for a movie that shows an umbilical cord severed with a bullet and a character fatally impaled with a carrot in its first few minutes. That something is probably not, "and the winner for Best Picture is ...," but "Shoot 'Em Up" has no such aspirations.
For 86 minutes, the film means only to entertain. Ever wished that movies would do away with boring stuff like plot, character development and meaningful dialogue and skip straight to the action? Then this is just the movie for you. It is probably the most violent live-action, CGI-infested film since this spring's "300."
The role of the stoic, reluctant hero named Smith fits Clive Owen like a really comfortable flak jacket. The movie begins with Smith sitting on a bus stop in your average American urban cesspool, minding his own business and munching on a carrot.
All of a sudden, a pregnant woman (Ramona Pringle) lurches by, screaming in the throes of impending labor. Smith looks mildly interested after the unmarked van chasing her crashes into a parked car and a gun-toting, obscenity-spewing thug gets out and stalks her. What choice does Smith have but to save the damsel in distress? Chivalry is one of the only things in "Shoot 'Em Up" that isn't dead or about to be.
Soon after, an umbilical cord has been severed with a bullet, a bad guy has been dispatched with a carrot, and dozens more (including the woman) have been done away with using more conventional methods.
We are introduced to the lead gunman, Mr. Hertz (Paul Giamatti), before Smith goes on the run, baby in tow, still dripping with amniotic fluid. The obvious place to bring an orphaned baby with a price on his newborn head is a brothel. Right? Well, maybe only when you know a lactating prostitute (who doesn't?) named DQ, played by Monica Bellucci.
Naturally, she is apprehensive about accepting the responsibility of mothering the newborn (like the movie, all the baby really needs are her breasts), because she doesn't want to get involved in whatever it is that requires an army of gunmen to kill a baby. Not that it matters, but "it" is a political conspiracy involving a presidential candidate (played by Daniel Pilon), a gun manufacturer (Stephen McHattie), and harvesting babies for their bone marrow.
Although most people could do without that bit of convoluted storyline, it's hard to think of another plot device that would have allowed for a show-stopping gunfight that begins on a 747, continues in freefall through the clouds, and ends on the ground. If the plane hadn't belonged to a presidential candidate, there could not have been so many Secret Service-issued firearms on board.
In short, if you worry about logic or plot holes, your head is going to start to hurt real fast (assuming it can withstand the persistent nu-metal soundtrack). You should just appreciate the over-the-top nature of the violence and get on with it. That's what Smith does when his coital session with DQ is interrupted by more pesky gunmen. One of the many jokes comparing the male reproductive organ to a gun follows.
In fact, almost every line of dialogue in the movie that isn't exposition is a one-liner, some more cringe-inducing than others. And some of the running jokes run a little too far.
Owen's performance keeps the movie somewhat grounded, though it is difficult to keep your eyes from rolling. "Shoot 'Em Up" definitely tests the limit between nonsensical and stupid. Sure, the action is great, but an astronomical and creatively accumulated body count isn't the only thing that matters in a movie.
