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The Tufts Daily
Where you read it first | Saturday, May 17, 2025

TV Review | Several minor flaws in new show "Raines" on NBC's parade

There's a problem with NBC's new series "Raines." Don't worry, it's totally fixable.

Whoever greenlighted the show was probably thinking, "Hey, here's a show about an L.A. police detective. He's kooky and sarcastic, and he also hallucinates about the victims of the murders he's investigating. But as he learns more about the victim, his hallucinations change to better suit the reality of the situation." Maybe it's time to change NBC's slogan from "We're still making SNL!" to "Characters welcome."

Except here's the issue, NBC executive: "Characters welcome" is USA's slogan, and they already have about 300 shows about kooky sarcastic detectives. In fact, Tony Shalhoub has about a million Emmys for "Monk."

Then, it would seem, the show's creator and head writer decided that Michael Raines would be a totally awesome detective, something straight out of Raymond Chandler. He even references Chandler in the first two episodes. Then they cast Jeff Goldblum, who is completely awesome in the role. And now the show has all the makings of a really cool detective show. The detective is snarky and clever, and the show itself does a beautiful job of painting a portrait of the city of Los Angeles: every victim means something in the makeup of an extremely interesting and romantic city.

But now we've hit a snag because the show is too good for its trappings. The whole hallucinating about ghosts thing is total garbage. It's a neat hook, but the show actually doesn't need it.

Also, too much of the show takes place in the daytime. Mysteries aren't cool in the daytime; the scenes should all be at night ("Veronica Mars" had this right from the start). And that brings us to the biggest problem with Raines: Why the hell is Michael Raines working for the police?

Police detectives aren't the heroes of noir stories. They're fumbling, bumbling oafs who at best swap information with Philip Marlowe and at worst keep arresting Veronica Mars. The police force represents brute strength (especially in L.A.) in a genre created by authors who have a deep respect for the workings of intelligent (and sarcastic) minds.

So let's go over together how to fix the show, based on where it is now. As of the second episode, Michael Raines is seeing a psychologist (maybe she attended school with Adrian Monk's psychologist - just a thought) because people see him talking to himself (he's conversing with ghosts, of course, including the ghost of his ex-partner who, according to some gray-haired snot who gives Raines orders, kept Raines in check). Raines is under order to see the psychologist under pain of suspension.

So first, let's have him stop seeing the psychologist, giving him an immediate suspension. Then he insults his commanding officer (something like: "you gray-haired history-interpreting moron") and blam-o! He's off the force. Now he opens shop as a private investigator. One day, in an act of jealous rage or something, the ghost of his partner shoots the ghost of the victim, "Play it Again, Sam" (1972)-style.

Now Raines doesn't see ghosts anymore. He can continue working on the sidelines with the police department, only now he's got an axe to grind so he'd rather solve these mysteries on his own.

NBC had better hop to it. Soon, the show "Marlowe" will be on the air and that will likely be the preeminent P.I. show (since "Veronica Mars" may be joining the FBI - which is lame, by the way). But Raines has an opportunity now to corner the market. Jeff Goldblum is terrific enough that we'd all be cool watching him do whatever he wants. He could even sell us iBooks.