I'll be the first to admit it: Sunday night's Pats-Broncos game was just dreadful.
Everything went wrong: Denver's defense made us over-reliant on Tom Brady, despite the fact that he had no one worth throwing to. Corey Dillon couldn't even make it to halftime before hurting his arm, and we had absolutely no answer for their running back, Tatum Bell. And to make matters worse, Javon Walker - the same Javon Walker who was minutes away from heading to New England this past offseason but ended up in Denver instead - absolutely embarrassed us. Two touchdowns and 130 yards ... on just three catches. Three! Who does that?!
Despite everything that went awry Sunday night, there is one silver lining surrounding the weekend's cloud of disappointment, and if you looked really hard, you just might have noticed it.
In a way, I'm happy that the Pats only scored once Sunday night, and that it came with nine minutes left, at a point when I was barely still paying attention. The silver lining is that we Patriots fans, for the most part, kept our disgraceful musical tastes to ourselves.
For those of you who haven't been following this story, let me give you a quick synopsis. In November of 2005, Gary Glitter, the music legend known for his hit "Rock and Roll, Part 2," was arrested in Ho Chi Minh City and charged with "committing obscene acts with minors." Seriously.
As a result, the NFL ordered that "Part 2" be banned from its stadiums, and the bigwigs in Foxboro agreed. They spent the 2006 preseason experimenting with new touchdown music and eventually decided on two songs: one to be played after the Pats found the end zone and one for after the extra point.
Without further ado, the two songs they chose were ... the "1812 Overture" by Tchaikovsky and "Elevation," a No. 21 hit by U2. If you ask me, there's an obvious reaction that these two choices should elicit: Are you kidding me?
Now don't get me wrong. I have absolutely no problem with the "1812 Overture," and I think it'll make for a great fight song. Everything from the booming cannons to the rousing tempo of the piece is really cool. There's just no better way to get 70,000 fans fired up to cheer on a winning football team. I know absolutely nothing about classical music, but even I can tell - that is one awesome piece of music.
Let's compare the origins of the two songs. "The Overture," contrary to popular belief, has nothing to do with the Americans fighting in the War of 1812. However, it does have its roots in military history. Tchaikovsky was inspired by the French invasion of Russia, which led to a key battle in the Napoleonic Wars. So, naturally, the piece should be used as a fight song, because that's exactly what it is.
And then you have "Elevation." Think back about five years ... do you remember "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider?" "Elevation" was the big hit of the Tomb Raider soundtrack. And nothing says "touchdown" quite like adapting a PlayStation game into a crappy movie. Tchaikovsky must be spinning in his grave.
The Patriots released a statement on their Web site explaining the two selections, and they pointed out that both had their ties to Boston's culture. The "1812 Overture," they explained, is "the last song the Boston Pops play before the fireworks at the Fourth of July Celebration in Boston." Sounds good to me - I can get on board with that, no problem. But what's the U2 connection?
Well, U2 has "a strong tie with the Patriots after having played the halftime of their first Super Bowl victory." Riiight. If playing a Pats Super Bowl halftime is enough of a connection, then let's get Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake on the phone right away. It's perfect: With just the audio clips, you get all the music and none of the wardrobe malfunctions.
My point is a simple one: When I see Tom Brady marching his troops down the field toward that end zone, I see a general; I see a powerful leader instilling fear in the enemy. When the Pats find that end zone, I want to hear something inspiring, something that shows the world who's boss.
When I look at Tom Brady, I want to think of him as the next Napoleon. Not Angelina Jolie.
Evans Clinchy is a sophomore who has not yet declared a major.
