"Did you hear what BLEEP did last weekend with that guy? I mean, it was in the basement of a frat house."
"Yeah, and especially after she was with BLEEP, on Friday?"
"She was? That "BLEEP!"
"I know... and did you hear about....."
In the spirit of the Jewish New Year when Jews pray for forgiveness for the sins of the past year, and the Muslim month of Ramadan when Muslims exert self-control by fasting from dawn to dusk in an attempt to focus on self-accountability, let's take a look at a misdeed we come upon all too often: campus gossip.
Gossip sucks: it ruins reputations and is just plain mean. Let's face it, we've all knowingly (and unknowingly) been the victim of mean spirited conversation.
As exciting as it is to be the bearer of the next juiciest tidbit, you forget how much it burns when your own private business is public knowledge - especially when it's not true. But truth hurts just as much - or more, when your confidante betrayed your trust and blabbed.
Just as autumn leaves spread across campus with the passing wind, so is gossip blown around in the Carmichael stir-fry line and over nightly ladies' room toothbrushing chats. And as leaves spread irreversibly from a single tree, it is nearly impossible to re-gather harsh words once they leave our mouths.
But when the community is as close-knit as Tufts', taking the high road is really hard. Dishing is virtually irresistible when that guy who's nodding off in front of you in class peed in Ashley's roommate's trash can or hooked up with Meg's boyfriend's BROTHER.
Even more intrusive is Facebook; with a few clicks, one story of John's bad tongue technique can be identified via face recognition and his image emblazoned in the mind of Mary's friends as 'a bad kisser.'
While Mary's sharing of information might have been intended as helpful to her friends, poor John is forever jaded in the eyes of the group (which of course soon becomes half the female student body). Maybe he was just having an 'off-night?'
Verbal diarrhea may be contagious, but it doesn't have to be. While it is impossible to refrain from gossip completely (as friends often need to share important information about each other for their own well-being), what about zipping up those loose lips, for once? Would you still spit out the snarky remarks to the subject's face?
No matter what standards you hold yourself to, the golden rule is, in fact, golden in this situation: "Do unto others as you would want done unto you." Just this once, don't hand out the dirty laundry this week: discuss the latest viewpoint, plan your next weekend soiree, complain about the genocide in Sudan. As intelligent Jumbos we have better things to talk about, and we know it.
If you must, hit Campus Convenience and load up on US Weekly. All America already knows about Linds' latest nip slip and Brit's new trampy mini. Get your juice fix from the celebrities without gambling with the trust of the people you care about.
Spearheading a campus initiative, leading an on-campus organization, or engaging in community service is admirable. But in all of our resume building and go-getting, it can be easy to neglect our own individual standards of conduct.
What better a time than now: a new season, a new semester, and a holy time for so many to start such a project. Although you may think no one listens to what you say about other people, an elephant never forgets (and may pass on the gossip).
Let it stop with you.
