As you already know, I'm proud to be both from Medford and attending Tufts. I started this column just so I could rave to the community about the area. I must confess, though, that being a Townie at Tufts certainly does give a lot back - a lot more than you think. I get all the wonderful perks of living at home with my parents, while not actually having to live at home with my parents.
The savior of my life thus far at college has easily been my mom. I am the youngest, and therefore, her baby.
No matter how old I am, or how irresponsibly I may - and do - act, she's always going to be there to help me out.
I have never done my own laundry, not even for a second, not even just to see how it feels. My mom has cleaned every article of clothing that I have ever owned.
Some of you may be saying, "Wow, that's so sad. I can't believe he's never done his laundry. What a loser."
Though all of that statement is basically true, the bottom line is, I don't have to waste my time on laundry. So while you're slaving away at the Laundromat, I can drop by Tavern on the Hill and play some Keno.
Heck, I'll even have enough time to grind with the schoolteacher in the corner to "Pimp Juice" while you're separating your whites and folding your socks.
A nice aspect of bringing my laundry home to be cleaned is staying for dinner while my mom puts it in the washing machine.
I am thus privileged to a tasty home-cooked dinner, usually of my choosing, about once every week and a half. Chicken parmesan, homemade pizza or a nicely marinated steak are all at my disposal.
First of all, these meals put those of the dining halls to shame. They're healthier and don't cause me to spend the rest of my night wondering if my stomach has a ticking time bomb in it.
Second, they are free. Everything is just so much better when it's free: food, drinks, movies, sex... the lack of having to pay for it enhances it immensely. Also, unbeknownst to my mom, my dad usually slips me a few bucks for the weekend's festivities.
When you do your laundry, you probably pay to use someone else's washing machine, clean the clothes yourself and then fold them yourself. Sweet. I get picked up, give my clothes to my mom, eat my favorite food, get my laundry back folded and clean and then get paid for all of that. I win this one.
How much does it cost to park at Tufts? Way too much. Tickets on College Ave.? They sure add up. My parking space is a little cove about a mile away... in my driveway.
When I need my car, I place a call to either parent, and within minutes, my car is dropped off safely in front of my house, ready for use. Not having to worry about parking tickets or moving my car out so other people can park is an excellent feeling.
I think my favorite part of this arrangement is the fact that people can only see my car for the time that I'm actually driving it.
My car is an eyesore on the roads of Somerville and Medford... and that's saying a lot. The less people see of it, the better off my rep is around school.
As it is, enough people know I'm a townie, so seeing me in this car would put me into the category of sketchy townie.
Though I may fit this stereotype to a tee, I'd rather them learn that from watching me in action at a bar, not driving to Dowling to drop off forms.
My house's proximity to Tufts allows me to hide my crap-wagon from the school community and keep the little dignity that I have left.
Lastly, Medford and Somerville, to me, are basically on the same par as Cheers was to its regulars: I feel like everyone does know my name.
Well, almost everyone. The liquor store clerks probably get confused by now because before I turned 21, I was my brother to them.
I can walk into a bar and see my buddies from a particular team at Tufts, and then look to my other side and catch up with some guys I played Little League with. Last time I went out, I ran into my mother's assistant principal.
And going to a Tufts hockey game is always a good time, especially when you see three second-graders at the game that you used to substitute teach (that sounded more creepy than I originally meant).
Bottom line is, at Tufts, I feel like I have the best of both worlds. If I need something from home, it's not a hassle to get it, and I like having that option.
The real problem is going to be when I graduate and I won't have all these things... wait, who am I kidding? I'll definitely be living with my parents.
Pete McKeown is a junior majoring in English. He can be reached at peter.mckeown@tufts.edu.
