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Men stand up for men

I'm a man. A man at college. Moreoever, a first-year man at college. By most accounts, that puts me a bit above a felon on the ladder of respectability. I haven't done anything wrong, at least, not to my knowledge. I, and the other several hundred of my male brethren of the class of 2009 (and indeed, all Tufts men) are the victims of societal stereotyping. It's not terribly encouraging.

What's the problem? That's a good question. Part of the problem is that no one is out there defining the problem. It's there, but it's hard to put your finger on it. An example of the problem is that male-female relationships are often defined as antagonistic. If a guy's talking to a girl at a party, it's automatically assumed that he must be making a move on her. If a guy goes to a party, he wins points with his buddies if he brings a girl back for a tour of his room. If a guy turns up empty handed, he did poorly, or did something wrong. If a guy rejects this whole notion, he's labeled as "gay" or playing for the other team.

So, what's a real man? It's hard to say exactly, but a real man isn't a man who's just trying to score points for his "team." Being a real man doesn't mean he's some sort of 18th century country dandy, but it does mean that a girl shouldn't feel like she needs to hook up with the guy because she danced a song or two with him at a party. A real man shouldn't walk into a fraternity and have everyone in the room make the judgment that he's there to get a random hookup.

Take the classic tactic that every man hates: the cock block. So a guy is making a move on a girl who might not be in the best state to make decisions for herself. His friend, recognizing this, makes a move to prevent him from doing something he and his partner might regret later. But this is frowned upon, in fact lambasted! That "friend" was no friend at all, but a traitor to his gender, stopping a fine hookup in the making!

Part of the problem is the lack of recognition of a problem. There's plenty to be said and many willing to listen about women's issues, for instance. I don't think I have enough fingers and toes to count the numbers of women's groups on campus; we even have a Women's Center. There is a great deal of education about how women have stereotypes, image problems and issues that are mostly unique to their specific gender. However, there is a lot less information out there about men.

Men have no group to represent them, to articulate their views on what's happening on our campus specifically or in our society generally. We have no group to take action, no place where men can figure out what's wrong and fight for a solution for us. But this article is not so bleak; there is hope to be found.

How many real men do you know? Real men? Men of class and conscience? Men you're proud to look at, point at and identify as a man? Men have an image problem on college campuses and Tufts is no exception.

A new group, with a new and unique set of ideals has been founded at Tufts, to speak for men, to educate men, and to encourage men to be real men. And not a woman among them! This group will implement new policies, new strategies and engage in partnerships with those organizations most directly effected by the problems we men are beset with. This group is the Tufts Men Activists Coalition, and every man should attend at least one meeting to discuss the important issues on men's minds.

Jeffrey Kiok is a freshman and a member of Tufts Men Activist Coalition.