And then the unthinkable happened. In a stunning surprise cameo,Leonard DiCaprio reprised his role as teenage delinquent LukeBrower to remind the Seavers that all they need is family.
Okay, so that didn't happen. But you can imagine how excitingthat would have been: Kirk Cameron and Leo, two heartthrobs fromsuccessive generations back together again. Still, "Growing Pains:Return of the Seavers" does give us Kirk (and none of hisborn-again Christian preaching) and the rest of the gang.
The story is simple: patriarch Jason (Alan Thicke) and matriarchMaggie (Joanna Kerns) decide to sell the house, now that the nestis finally empty. After the sale, they plan to either hit the roadin a deluxe RV, as is Jason's plan, or shack up in a villa inTuscany, if Maggie has her way.
But what's that you say? Didn't they sell the house in theseries finale, back in 1992? Well, avid television viewer, you'recorrect.
Like other flaws in the show, however, (youngest child Chrissyleaped five years in 1990, suddenly going from two to seven yearsold), the creators ask for a suspension of disbelief. In fact, theyeven make reference to the d�j� vu, as Seaverdaughter Carol (Tracey Gold) asks "You're selling the house? Likein '92?" to which Jason replies "No, not like in '92. This time forreal."
That's just one of several self-referential winks and insidejokes that appear in the movie. As a matter of fact, it's a premisecarried throughout, as Jason chastises Cameron's Mike, "Didn't youlearn anything after 166 episodes?"
Meanwhile, Maggie tells Carol, "It seems like we had a problemevery week. In fact, every Tuesday night from 8:30 to 9."
The movie, the second feature-length Seaver reunion (see 2000's"The Growing Pains Movie"), really rewards the diehard "GrowingPains" fan (which, admittedly, might just be me).
When the family gathers up their old belongings for a garagesale, there are a couple sly allusions to past episodes, namelyMike's sneakers on which he once wrote the answers to a Civil Wartest, and Carol's old, impossibly large glasses. Unfortunately,there was no appearance from the hideous ashtray youngest son Ben(Jeremy Miller) made for his father.
It's somewhat weird to see the characters now, nearly 20 yearsremoved from the series' inception. Chrissy (Ashley Johnson) who wesaw as a child, is now grown up. Mike has a daughter that is almostold enough to drive, and he also has a brood of adoptedmulti-racial children.
Maggie and Jason are a little grayer, a little more worn and alittle more wrinkled. It's also comforting that, however, at thesame time, they've changed so little.
Now admittedly, the story is weak. In fact, the house theyprofess to have lived in for thirty years isn't even the same onefrom the show. Similar to the plot in its "Wonderful World ofDisney" predecessor, the whole family is brought back together by aset of suspiciously convenient circumstances, in this case eitherto ensure they sell the house, or to sabotage said sale.
Mike, who has just received a one-year job offer in Japan, sendshis wife Kate (real life spouse Chelsea Noble) to a spa, andencourages Jason and Maggie to stay and help look after his kids. Avery pregnant Carol also wants the Seaver parents to stay so theycan help raise her child while she returns to her investmentbanking career. Ben, a newly-anointed realtor, plays the opposingforce, as the sale of the house is his key to becoming real estateagent of the year.
So, obviously, "hilarity" ensues. Mike and Carol, joining forcesfor evil, clog the pipes and disable the garbage disposal. Inaddition, Mike, in between answering his cell phone which has a"Growing Pains" theme ring tone, even hires a third-rate Ukrainiancrew he knows will botch renovations.
Then of course, as per the norm, the show gets melodramatic, andthey return to the constantly espoused theme of "Growing Pains":nothing is more important than family.
Mike and Carol try to guilt their parents to stay, butultimately, it's a power outage caused by Chrissy's guitar amp thattraps Maggie and Jason in a bedroom closet and helps them realizethat it's still not time to cut the umbilical cord. And then ofcourse, Carol goes into labor.
Okay, so the movie (and the show) is neither original nor eventhat funny. But somehow the series managed to last seven seasonsand spawn two television movies, an existence spanning over 19years.
And who knows, maybe they'll make a new movie every four years.After all, it's obvious the cast won't be acting in much else (tosee Kirk Cameron's other current venture, check outwww.thewayofthemaster.com and for Tracey Gold's recent DUI,www.thesmokinggun.com).
What is it then? Why has the show lasted? Perhaps it's thesocially relevant storylines.
No, that's not it.
My only guess is that for some reason we found and still findthe characters endearing. With them, we were "sharing the laughterand love."
Cameron, at 34 years old, still has a childlike charm, and thereremains an unmistakable chemistry between the actors.
So, it's not Shakespeare; it's cheesy and thin. As the show endswith a new version of the theme song sung by Chrissy, you can'thelp but think how lame it is. It is lame. But you can guaranteethat I'll be there for the 25th anniversary special.
