Spring Break

How could I resist? Spring break. So topical. So -- excuse the early pun -- tropical. So, as my high school friends and I used to say in a mocking tone about such cliche parts of college life, "college."

That's right. Spring break is a rite of -- well, literally -- passage that every student must face. I would be mistaken to tell you that every student must head to Cancun or go sea kayaking, but for this week off from school, we've all got to do something.



Girls Gone Wild

I honestly believe that this only exists in video tapes starring girls from Big Ten schools, but apparently I'm wrong. If you're holding a plane ticket that has a destination that is anything involving the word "beach" or a word that is not English, you're in for "Girls Gone Wild."

It's really amazing to me that people actually have weeks like this in their lives: wet t-shirt contests, dancing on top of bars, standing under a pouring stream of vodka on the dance floor. It's amazing -- and something that frankly I think is well worth it. After all, when again in your entire life will you be able to go into a club, get completely smashed, take countless shots of God-knows-what, and go home with God-knows-who? Just don't get caught on video! (Or, should I say, be sure to get caught on video!)



Medford

Almost the opposite of going down to take in the MTV Spring Break scene is to stay in Medford for the week. And hey -- I'm not knockin it. Save yourself the price of a plane ticket and the airsickness ta'boot: you can have all the wet t-shirt contests you want in your very own apartment on College Ave. (Warm weather, free-flowing tropical alcohol, and sketchy guys you don't know not included. Of course, cold weather, free-flowing cheap alcohol, and sketchy guys you do know are included.)

But having a nice week off and not going anywhere too crazy could provide you with some good R&R, uninhibited time for sex thanks to the absence of your otherwise ever-present roommate, and unlimited pints of Ben & Jerry's.



Jamaica

I think Jamaica falls somewhere in the area of the "Girls Gone Wild" extravaganza, but the alcohol is substituted for with a much more... relaxing substance. Angie mentioned something to the effect of "guys selling you dime bags for fifty cents when you step off the plane." Hm.



Sports Teams Training Trips

I know that plenty of people will be taking trips with their teams this Spring break: to Arizona to run, to Georgia to play ultimate, and even to sunny Tufts University for crew. It seems to me that these Spring Break ideas combine the best of all worlds: you get in your share of "college-aged fun" but there's a purpose in there somewhere of weekend tournaments, weekday practices, and hard work to train. Of course throwing in a plane ride or road trip with teammates make things that much more spicy.



Florence with one friend

Well, I don't think this is too typical. But, Kurt and Jason, I know you're heading off to this beautiful destination. So... you know... enjoy yourselves!



Home

Of course, home is a free option that is hard to pass up. But hard to swallow! Unless you're a freshman holding on to that long-expired high school girlfriend or a wily upperclassman who has a source of cash at home, all I have for you is: WTF.

The following things will really incense you upon making it back to the place where you grew up: being asked to empty the dishwasher, watching a movie with your parents in the living room, hearing your mommy call you down for dinner. But hey, Bonnie Rose, if it's your birthday, more power to you.



So that's that. Spring break. Ironically, one could posit that the people making each of the choices above are usually doing the same things during the year (having wet t-shirt contests, drinking to excess, going home and watching a movie) and that in fact this makes spring break not a "break" at all, but rather just a week-of-what-you-usually-do but without interruption. Have a blast.