Q: Hey, this is kind of weird, but I think my roommate was looking at porn on her computer. That kind of thing doesn't really bother me usually but I was uncomfortable. I mean I'm not sure she was doing it. Should I even ask her? -- Virgin Eyes
A: It's probably been eating at you, but I would advise against confronting her. You may end up bringing about a massive amount of embarrassment, regardless of whether or not she was actually doing the act in question. Since you're not even sure she was peeking at those sorts of pictures, it's quite possible she was looking at something inherently more artistic or even something medically related. The possibilities here are endless.
Even if she was browsing some naughty material (and as long as she's 18-years-old or older there's nothing wrong with that), it may not be something she'd like to discuss with you. To avoid an uncomfortable situation, it may be best to assume she's innocent unless she's later proven guilty. If you catch her in the act again, and you're sure of what's going on, then it would be appropriate for you to express to her that looking at those kinds of things in your company makes you feel a bit weird.
Q: Hi Angie, I was taking a test in one of my classes, and I saw my friend looking at my answers. I know he cheated off of me and then got a better grade on that test. I'm so pissed, he admits he did it but doesn't see what is wrong with it. I wish we never took a class together. What can I do? -- Hard Worker
A: Situations like these suck in particular because your friend basically trampled on your bonds of trust. Although you might share your souls with each other outside of the classroom, test taking isn't a time to share at all. If you're willing to lose the friend, then perhaps you'd better tell your professor about his scandalous behavior. In this scenario, you've got to be prepared for not only losing a friend but a possible backlash due to harsh disciplinary actions taken against him.
If that's not an option, then you need to have a serious discussion with him. Make sure he understands that in your world, you have a problem with him using you. As much as he might not care, you won't put up with it. You could even feed him the line, "I don't want either of us to get in trouble," which is probably the case. Definitely sit somewhere far away when the next test rolls around, and avoid taking classes with this friend. If your ideas of acceptable behavior clash in the classroom, then don't push your boundaries.
Q: Angie, I'm a sophomore so I definitely have my experiences with roommates. I'm living with my friend this year and over the course of the past few months his side of the room has smelled worse and worse. It is so disgusting I want to gag when I walk in. So can I just tell him to take a shower, should I hire a maid or what? -- Nauseated
A: Ugh. You know, you'd be surprised how common that phenomenon has become. It's the case of the smelly roommate. You lived together for a little while and things were going pretty well. Suddenly he's totally comfortable with you. There's no need to keep up appearances or impress each other. You're just being typical college guys, when suddenly "the smell" appears. At first it's not so bad. Maybe it's simply an amalgamation of dirty socks and moldy pizza crusts. As time goes on, the offensive odor builds up as the piles of gross stuff accumulate.
You didn't mention it, but I'm going to assume that there are piles of gross stuff -- there's got to be a distinctive scientific correlation between sweaty socks and smelliness. If he's not showering, that definitely can't help. Being a good roommate is all about compromise and respect. It is incredibly disrespectful for him to provide you with such rancid living conditions. You have a right to confront him about this issue -- it's your room too!
Offer to help him clean, or remind him to tidy up. Some people still can't clean up without a parental-type nag once in a while. Try not to bring up the smell, it might embarrass him. I'm sure he knows it's there. Ask what you can do to help him get his act together. If he's totally non-responsive, maybe you should bring an RA in to get through to him. No nasty accusations need to be made, but the RA's are there for this kind of encouraging mediation.
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