How to buy the right gift for your girlfriend

'Ask Angie' is the Daily's weekly advice column. E-mail questions to ask_angie@tuftsdaily.com and see a response in print.

Okay, so, what do I get my girlfriend for Christmas?? I keep asking her what she'd like but she keeps saying "be creative" or "pick something meaningful." We have been together for a while, so I can't get something like a movie or a CD. It has to be expensive, but I can't afford diamonds or anything. Advice please!

_Shopping for ideas



A: Shopping for a significant other, ESPECIALLY a girl, isn't always easy around the holiday season. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa or something else involving gift-giving, your gal pal will be expecting a symbol of your love for her. Sure, it's not the stress of anniversary-time shopping _ but she's probably got something cool in mind for you already, especially since she's giving you the "pick something meaningful" line. Contrary to popular belief, girls like lots of things and are fairly easy to shop for. You can't usually go wrong with some nice smelly stuff like scented candles, perfumes, body lotion, or stuff involving the human touch, like gift certificates for massages and/or facials. Feeling kind of kinky? Try some lingerie - anything from silk nighties to matching bra/panties sets. Remember that the real present here is that you get to see her in it! Unless you know her fashion sense really well, I'd avoid buying her regular clothes - especially since sizing can be tricky. Sometimes the best presents are those that you spend the least money on _ write her a poem, make her an elaborate card, or make a photo collage of the two of you. There's also nice, meaningful jewelry that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. And who can resist a cool electronic gadget? Look around online or spend a day scouring the mall. When you find the perfect gift, you'll know it.



Q: Is it bad to be having sex with different guys almost every weekend? I feel really gross about it and bad about myself, but it's fun at the time.

_Lonely



A: Well, "Lonely," I think your name gives you away. You're having flings with all of these different partners because you're lonely and you feel like the sex fills some kind of void in your life. The reason you feel gross about it is because it doesn't end up serving the purpose you expect it to. Sure, at the time it feels validating and pleasurable, but that high can't last forever _ so you seek it out again and again, and it continuously leads you through this vicious cycle. Unfortunately, there are way too many risks involved with this kind of promiscuity these days _ the kinds of diseases being transmitted can't just be cured with a simple shot or pill anymore. There's nothing inherently bad about sex, or even about sex with different guys all the time _ it can be a great thing when done for the right reasons. But sex isn't a substitute for self-esteem. You shouldn't be feeling gross about what you do. Something's got to change, and you know this because otherwise, you wouldn't have written to me. Try seeing a therapist to help you come to terms with your self-image, or chill out from the sex rampage and even try settling down with (gasp) one person.