Here it is: a first glimpse at my Survivor application (because I know you all REALLY care) minus my contact information and allergies (because some of you might care too much). Any advice is appreciated:
Who is your hero and why?
Oprah. She may be a bit obnoxiously ubiquitous, but it blows my mind to think about all she's accomplished. She overcame all sorts of adversity to become one of the most powerful people in entertainment. Even supposed chinks in her armor such as Beloved are impressive if you consider that the movie was made exactly as she specified. Now that she has a magazine, she has become a multimedia superpower. I would love for Oprah to be my sugar mama. [YEAH, I would.]List three items you would take with you to the remote location, if allowed, and why?
1) My walkman complete with my running mix (which I seldom use anymore) because I need music around to keep me centered (and sane).2) Elisabeth's immunity headdress.
3)One word plus two letters: Immodium AD. I cannot think of anything worse than having diarrhea while stranded in the middle of nowhere. [Although I've recently discovered that every contestant gets a never-ending supply of anti-diarrheal medication.]
What would be the craziest, wildest thing you would do for a million dollars?
I would gladly allow myself to be strapped to a large banner that would be dragged behind a biplane flying up and down the Jersey shore on a hot summer's day wearing nothing but a hot pink tutu (no leotard), black patent leather platform sneakers, and one of those crowns from Medieval Times (preferably green). [I was trying to think of something serious for this but I have NO ideas.]What would you NOT do for a million dollars?
I wouldn't hurt (mentally or physically) any of my friends or family. I wouldn't change my name. And I most definitely would never grow my hair into a mullet. [After my time in Kentucky, I'm considering changing the mullet comment out of respect for the really cool people with mullets that I met.]What is your favorite topic of conversation at a dinner party? What topics are off limits?
I love discussing pop culture, movies, and everyone else's problems. Still, my favorite topic of conversation is me. Off limits? Right now, talking about the impending end of college is definitely off limits. Also, don't ask about my plans for after graduation unless you want to get smacked upside the head. [This is true of most seniors. Leave us alone.]What skills do you bring to Survivor that would make you a useful member of the group?
Many of my skills lie in the interpersonal realm. I have found over the years that I have an almost superhuman ability to deal with others. I think I'd quickly become the group counselor/therapist as well as entertainer. I find that people tend to trust me rather quickly and often consider me a confidante. I also do particularly well diffusing heated situations and handling crises. It helps that I'm unimaginably witty. On a more practical level, I think my youth and energy will be a huge asset in the challenges as well as day-to-day life. Also, as the son of a chef, the art of preparing food is in my blood. Screw tortillas; let me at those --------- (fill in name of indigenous animal). Most of all, I never give up. Never. [Alright, I suppose I've given up in the past, but I've felt really bad about it afterward.]What types of people would you choose to have with you on Survivor?
I would want a nice mix of people - as long as they had an open mind and a sense of adventure. While I understand that the primary focus is to survive until the end and win the money, I'd want my fellow tribespeople also to be seeking to maximize the magic of the experience itself. Still, I'm looking for a challenge. Bring on the snakes and the rats. Let's see if they can handle little ol' me. [But no Jerri, please.]What types of people would you choose NOT to have with you on Survivor?
Nazis. And Sean from Survivor I. My name begins with an A. I'd be screwed. [Sean voted alphabetically. Sean isn't the sharpest pencil in the box.]If you were stranded, who would you most want to be stranded with?
Believe it or not, I wouldn't want to be stranded with friends or family. While I'd miss them, I would feel a need to take care of them, as opposed to taking care of myself, and that could screw me over in the long run. A group of complete strangers who were willing to take risks and work cooperatively to make a home would make for more engaging company. Especially if they were all attractive and worshipped me as a deity.What is your primary motivation for being on the show? What is your secondary motivation for being on the show?
I'm perpetually underestimated. People see me as an entirely social being. I think that, to some, this makes me come off as shallow or flighty. With minor exception, even my closest friends don't think I'd be able to hack it on Survivor. I want to prove to them - and, to a certain extent, to myself - that I'm the beast that I think I am. Oh yeah, and I'm poor, unemployed, and in massive amounts of debt because my school costs more per year than a two-bedroom house in Eastern Kentucky. [I just feel like including a shout-out to the Jills here because I'm listening to their CD right now and I think they're all really cute.]Why do you believe that you could be the final Survivor?
[This has to be my little secret. Sorry folks. Watch next season and find out.]
