In this week's installment of the WWF's soap opera for men, Monday Night Raw, though many questions were answered, so much more confusion was caused in the end. In a move which almost invoked sexual excitation on our behalf, Triple-H shocked the wrestling world as he admitted to being Rikishi's accomplice in the Stone Cold Hit-and-Run Attack last Nov. at Survivor Series.
In the program opening, Stone Cold's longtime archenemy and WWF owner Vince McMahon made a surprise appearance. We have been saying for months that he was the driving force between the whole criminal operation, and looking forward to his admission. Instead of talking about wrestling, however, he came into the ring to endlessly urge fans to vote in the Presidential Election.
Now, we admit that voting in the election is very important. On the other hand, when Vince finally came back to explain everything after months of anticipation, we couldn't care less about the election. So when he started talking about Gore-Bush and Cheney-Lieberman instead of Rock-Austin and Triple-H-Kurt Angle, frankly, we were a little pissed off.
Stone Cold came to the ring at the end of this ridiculous speech, just as we were thinking that the Vince rant was nothing more than a WWF hoax. As Austin accused McMahon of masterminding of the assault, Kurt Angle stormed into the ring... and Stone Cold responded by beating his ass. While Vince left, managing to avoid the havoc, he claimed that "something momentous would happen tonight."
Prior to the highly-anticipated main event featuring Steve Austin and the Rock battling Angle and Rikishi, the Rock was mysteriously assaulted and rendered unable to fight. Though the Brahma Bull was not debilitated by the same Lincoln Town Car that did in Stone Cold, the culprit was a jumbo-size inconspicuous, flying treasure chest.
In the match, Stone Cold decided unwisely to fight alone, and put up a valiant effort before he was beat to unrecognition by Rikishi, Angle, and a shocking intruder. Triple-H, the best wrestler in the WWF, sprinted to the ring and the moment we strongly anticipated arrived. Triple-H's eyes wandered the ring as he contemplated which side to join. And then it happened. The Game grabbed a sledge-hammer, knocked out Rikishi and Angle, and proceeded to beat Austin into a bloody wreck. He then revealed himself as the actual mastermind behind the Austin assault while proclaiming proudly, "Your search is over, Austin, it was me!"
Triple-H cemented his "heel" status tonight in one of the most unexpected heel-turns ever. Even with all the talk about the Rock's motives for taking out Stone Cold, in actuality Triple-H had the most to gain. Thanks to Austin's absence for almost an entire year, Triple-H became the acting WWF Commissioner and managed to grow unhampered.
In regards to the perpetrator behind the Rock's assault, the suspects comes down to three men: Rikishi (unlikely), Triple-H (improbably), and Vince McMahon (most definitely). Vince's return tonight signals his return back on a daily basis, and we predict that his angle will entail the formation of a Corporation with Triple-H.
The ensuing feud between Stone Cold Steve Austin and the McMahon-Helmsely regime will surely be memorable, but where does that leave the Rock? Because of his loner disposition, it is doubtful that he will form an alliance with Austin. We also don't see any need to continue the Rock's feud with Rikishi any further. It will be fun to watch in the next few weeks as the Rock feels out the audience with new storylines.
In other fairly significant developments, the WWF featured the reformation of Degeneration-X. In his match against the four members of the Radicals, the Game invited members of DX to fight with him: Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, and his big, butch girl Chyna. This contested ended with a pedigree by Triple-H on the pathetic Dean Malenko.
Overall, this week's Raw was a superior sports-entertainment show. In response to its declining ratings and the increasing popularity of Dennis Miller, the WWF has been really juicing up its storylines. Now is a great time to be watching wrestling. So remember: Smackdown on Thursdays at 8 p.m. on UPN, HEAT, Sundays at 7 p.m. on MTV, and RAW next Monday night at 9 p.m.. We'll be tuning in.
