As someone who thoroughly enjoys writing lousy columns, I didn't think my commitment to the Daily would extend beyond this goofy, useless babble. I imagined becoming happily snared to Op-Ed and willfully trapped in this column until my four unproductive years came to a sudden halt. It would feel a lot like being trapped in a theme park, only the theme is vague, inconsistent and basically irrelevant.
Unsurprisingly, my blissful dreams have not been realized; I have begun to write for News (cue cries of grief). Surprisingly, I'm not all too concerned. Maybe even glad. It's not that my column's points are totally questionable and my audience is totally nonexistent (they're not, though my audience is mostly nonexistent), but that I want to explore other methods of writing, specifically writing for dull, drab but important news.
Honestly, I've noticed only a few similarities between the two. They are published in the same newspaper, are often difficult to remember to write and are delivered each morning by the same elusive, mystery-cloaked eagle-man scout (I can only assume). So, considering I just referenced a mythical humanoid, one should conclude that the similarities are scarce. Also, it's possible I don't know what I'm talking about.
In News, unfortunately for some na??ve columnists, one has to "know what one is talking about" pretty much always. That's a major difference I'm still learning to handle. You can't just free associate, listening to Daft Punk and stealing pretzels from your roommate, and expect a conclusion with a moral to tie loose ends. You need consistency and pointed knowledge throughout.
As creatively sobering as not being able to say literally whatever you want is, writing for News can be intellectually inebriating. Already, I've learned about anthropology and omnipoetics (and how they collude!), about the protein collagen and nerve re-growth and about how people actually do want to be quoted accurately and with journalistic integrity. Knowing what you're talking about isn't necessarily a drawback.
The balance between zany, creative columns and formal, intellectual articles, assuming this is a week I've remembered to write both, is fulfilling when achieved artfully. They're two vastly different methods of expression and (watch out as I get super corny) act symbiotically. They parallel the cycle of learning and teaching.
Want to learn something interesting you probably didn't know? Write for News. Want to share your ideas, frightening and disturbing peers along the way? Write a column. Where news writers act like filters, soaking in pond water before spitting it out clear, columnists act like drunk fraternity brothers, barfing on one another, spitting up whatever happens to be brewing within their bowels. Fortunately, Tufts kids eat some interesting stuff.
If here I'm giving Op-Ed a negative connotation, I'm only being fair. I did call News "dull" and "drab" not two minutes ago. And besides, my allegiance to Op-Ed runs strong. I'm only just beginning to realize the balance is more valuable than any single outlet. I mean, if I don't feed myself more knowledge, what am I going to have to barf up?
The dance of education (the perpetual process of learning and teaching) has been fun and worthwhile, far more so than any dance Tufts Dance Collective would host. This is partly because I can't move my feet and torso simultaneously, but also because I'm educating and expressing myself how I want to, all while learning the practical skill of balancing my palate.
Now comes the part where I'm glad this is a column. Otherwise, I'd have to conclude by tying loose ends, by urging readers to find a similar balance, or by making at least a minuscule of sense, but I'll save that for News. Here, I don't even need a conclusion.
