The relationship between the 2008 Detroit Tigers and their fans so far this season reminds me of a man meeting his in-laws for the first time. Expectations are extremely high and everyone is extremely anxious to meet the mystery man, but he just wants to get off on the right foot and not screw up too bad.
Well, the Tigers' first two weeks kind of went like this: They greeted their mother-in-law with a "let's hug it out" and an ass-grab and proceeded to hit on their sister-in-law with crappy pickup lines. Then at dinner, the Tigers got a little too wasted and began a five-phased lecture explaining why sloppy seconds isn't cheating. Finally, while their father-in-law was sleeping, they tea-bagged him.
That's right; in the last two weeks the Tigers have unofficially tea-bagged the city of Detroit.
Am I being harsh? Am I being unfair? Sure I am. I know that the Tigers, like any good guy who makes a bad first impression, will redeem themselves and show their true colors. But this first week of games could have been special. As a baseball fan, I really expected them to be something extraordinary.
Other than my hometown Yankees, there was no team I was more excited to watch take the field this year than the Tigers. They were a story. They were exciting! The Miguel Cabrera/Dontrelle Willis trade put the city of Detroit into a baseball frenzy. Detroiters in desperate need of distraction with the American car industry crashing around them were finally getting one. Tickets were selling out at record rates, merchandise was flying off the shelves and new fans were popping up constantly.
Detroit was becoming a baseball town once again and it was because of an incredibly ballsy, out-of-left-field trade by GM Dave Dombrowski. The Tigers mortgaged the future, put all their chips on the table and were going to let the baseball gods decide their fate over a 162-game slugfest.
Awesome. This is why I spend the hundred bucks a year on MLB TV. This is what's so sweet about this game. And this is what made the 0-7 start hurt so much.
A healthy Tigers lineup looks something like this: Granderson-Polanco-Sheffield-Ordóñez-Cabrera-Guillen-Renteria-Rodriguez-Jones.
When I first saw that lineup, I felt like I had stumbled upon something I wasn't supposed to see. I looked around to make sure no one was peeking at my screen. Does anyone else see this? I had to tell someone. I needed someone else to freak out with me. So, I called my mom - the lady knows her baseball - and sure enough, she saw what I saw. "Gid, the Tigers are stacked!"
So with this ridiculous lineup and a decent pitching staff, why does the most exciting team in baseball have the worst record in the league?
Not because Curtis Granderson is hurt. Not because Joel Zumaya is hurt. Not because they don't have the pitching or the bullpen depth. It's because in baseball, the first couple weeks of the season are weird - and sometimes, they are really weird.
Sometimes it takes time for good teams to realize their potential and bad teams to come back down to earth. Current division leaders Baltimore, Kansas City, Florida and St. Louis will not make the playoffs. The Tigers will, eventually, go on a run and contend this year. They simply have too much talent not to. It's just a shame that their opening week could have been something more special than just one giant tea-bagging session.
Gideon Jacobs is a freshman who has not yet declared a major. He can be reached at Gideon.Jacobs@tufts.edu.
