Ashley Samelson may have been displeased when she entered the campus center on Valentine's Day, but upon reading her Viewpoint, "Sex fair sends the wrong message" in last Monday's Daily, I was appalled to discover an educated young woman spouting such an archaic and sexist sexual rhetoric.
The Sex Fair, organized by VOX, had nothing to do with promoting casual, emotion-free sex. It had everything to do with making it OK to talk about sex.
As individuals, our ability to communicate openly about sexuality with sexual partners, close friends and medical professionals ensures that we can express our boundaries and needs while safeguarding our physical health. As a community, our ability to discuss such matters will determine how effectively we deal with issues of sexual violence.
The playful nature of many of the activities at the fair was meant to send the message that sex is neither something to be ashamed of, nor something that cannot be discussed with the people we trust. By raising questions about sex in a fun atmosphere, VOX aimed to alleviate the alienation, misinformation and suffering that can result from silence.
Most disturbing was Samelson's assertion that casual sex leads to rape: if only we could go back to the time when women were "ladies" and men were "gentlemen," all of our problems would be solved. But sexual violence is nothing new; it has existed for as long as humans have been having sex, and frequently there is nothing "casual" about it: approximately 10 to 14 percent of married American women report having been raped by their husbands, according to the National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women. Adopting more traditional attitudes about sexuality will mean that "gentlemen" will open doors and "ladies" won't report being raped; it will not make us safer.
Furthermore, the claim that rape results when "sexual instinct" is left uncontrolled is ludicrous. Rape is about violence and power, and it is committed by people who are ill. It is not what the average person does when they get really horny. Samelson's statements are nothing but a tired and ugly justification for the oppression and silencing of women.
If women were only ladylike, she opines, then men would treat them better. And if women wouldn't misbehave so much, men wouldn't have a reason to rape them. As she states herself, "If women are careless and emotion-free about sex, why should they be treated with any care at all?" Well, maybe because everyone deserves respect under all circumstances.
Neither VOX nor I subscribe to the na've idea that "unrestrained sex," granted a condom is used, will be "fabulous and problem- and emotion- free." Sex, as with any human activity, can have negative consequences and VOX's main goal as an organization is to disseminate information related to human sexuality so as to mitigate the potential for suffering. However, demanding that every event on campus related to sex adopt the dour tone of a high school sex-ed teacher denies the complex nature of human relationships and ignores the fact that the experience of sexuality should be, and often is, an extremely positive element in the life of an individual.
The fair did feature educational resources, including a licensed sex educator from Planned Parenthood, who provided information about contraceptives, the spread and prevention of STDs and safe sex practices and tables run by AIDS Outreach.
But the fair was not meant to focus on the serious side of sex. Issues of consent, sexual violence and STI's are all addressed by various groups on campus throughout the year. For a change, VOX chose to celebrate human sexuality for what it should always be: fun, pleasurable and safe, regardless of whether one is married, in a relationship or single.
Arguing that VOX denied the importance of love and mutual respect by highlighting sexual pleasure implies that sex cannot be both loving and pleasurable - a very sad idea.
Megan Ault is a senior and the Publicity Manager of VOX.
