Dear SOS!,
This unlimited meal plan thing is really getting out of hand. Don't get me wrong, buffets are great for Mother's Day brunches and trips to Las Vegas, but "all I can eat" for EVERY MEAL? Help me downscale my food intake before those Belgian waffles start to get the best of me!
Sincerely,Buffet Butt Babe
Dear Buffet Butt Babe,
Although eating at the dining hall comes as a godsend to anti-cooks, binge eaters, and indecisives across campus, the cornucopia of daily food offerings can also overwhelm the bulk of stomachs accustomed to Mom's portion-controlled meals. Granted, the first couple of weeks should naturally be the time to test out the waters; however, there are only two ways to exhibit "safe sampling."
The "the small bites approach," may be the quickest way to cover the bases: the trick is to stick to one plate (plus an additional bowl, if salad-ingestion applies). Fill the entire plate with a sampling of every food that looks of interest at that meal period. Try pick foods that you wouldn't normally go for, rather than pizza and hamburgers.
Make sure not to overload on food at the beginning of your rounds. The said "small bites approach" can be extremely successful in uncovering new dining options; however, it may induce the desire for seconds, due to lack of full portions.
The second, the "discriminatory palate" approach, enables full appreciation of a smaller variety of options. In this method, you must limit yourself to only two or three different choices. By giving your plate a general theme, you can appreciate your food as a "meal," and not simply as a mishmash of flavors. The "discriminatory palate" approach will require a degree of restraint to keep from depending on certain favorites.
After the first two weeks, dining in the cafeterias should feel a little more familiar. You'll know which yogurt pairs best with which granola (I recommend the vanilla with the maple nut), which pizza is actually worth a slice (sauceless pesto and cheese), and how much sweetener is required for a full mug of coffee (two Splendas). You may have found some combinations that never fail to please.
Once a rhythmic meal-time program emerges, you can branch out, especially on the rarer "theme meals," venturing into bagel & lox day at Dewick or stir-fry night at Carmichael.
Another consideration, although utterly delicious and satisfying to assemble, are the Belgian Waffles. Novel at first, these European delicacies should dwindle in intake as time passes. Diners should limit themselves to two waffles a week in total.
Another cafeteria hot spot, the dessert nook, must also be approached with caution. Contrary to popular belief, one doesn't actually need dessert after every meal. However, there are a few desserts that have frequented Tufts' dining halls that I understand to be necessary. The peanut butter frozen yogurt (but only at the beginning of the night - once PDH, or Peak Dining Hours, have passed, the yogurt is either no longer frozen, or left in globs amidst a wreckage of sugar cones) and the chocolate-frosted yellow cake are understandable provisions - just only at dinner-time.
Always be sure to avoid the faux-healthy desserts (i.e. the vegan trail mix bars); they are habitually unsatisfying, and tend to result in the need to remedy the situation (i.e. with Boston cream pie).
Remember to take advantage of abundant fresh fruit, filtered water, and the friendly service, because after college, Mother's Day only comes around once a year.
