"Dude, you're staring at the fries again."
Any show that debuts with a line like that is just asking to be axed. "Life on a Stick," the latest show to prove that FOX should stick to "The O.C." and "American Idol," is quite possibly the worst thing to happen to the American sitcom since "Joanie Loves Chachi."
In a reality TV-dominated era, the best sitcoms can aspire to be is a mediocre regurgitation of a better show from a previous decade, but "Life on a Stick" is ironically so bad in its originality that it makes even the poorest knockoff look good by comparison. Despite its relatively tame premise revolving around a directionless teenager (Laz, played by hopeless newcomer Zachary Knighton) working at a dead-end fast-food job, "Life's" creative team seems bent on finding new and interesting ways to botch up the already floundering sitcom genre.
Start with the writing. After that brilliant one-liner to open the pilot episode, the two main characters, Laz and his equally directionless and even more comatose best friend Fred (Charlie Finn) talk for two full minutes about the plight of potatoes condemned to the fryer. Strange, yes, but not nearly as odd as their humorless exchange later in the episode about the various levels at which one must knock on a door for it to be heard properly by the occupants inside.
That doesn't even sound interesting, let alone comedic, yet some genius over at FOX somehow thought it would leave viewers rolling in the aisles. On the contrary, these drawn-out set-ups that lack punch lines will frustrate anyone with half a brain and ultimately leave audiences wondering whether the main characters have ADD or are just perpetually stoned.
But even if one can overlook the poor writing on the basis that humor is a tricky thing to achieve, the bizarre characterization of Laz's artificially atypical suburban family is inexcusable.
Laz's parents, Rick and Michelle, following the recent trend of pairing a sloppy, out-of-shape man with a Playboy bunny look-alike, take the fine art of child rearing to a disturbing new level unattained by other sitcoms.
Vacillating between hapless and horny, Rick (Matthew Glave) and Michelle (Amy Yasbeck) scamper around the set like a couple of twitchy mimes on crack, cowering from their moody teenage daughter, fawning over their cherished youngest son, and sneaking off to the garage to get frisky when they think their kids aren't watching. Shows like "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "Still Standing" have effectively proven that inept parents can be funny, but "Life's" progenitors are so awkward that they're more disconcerting than comical.
And then there is the very amateur attempt at "random" humor that is better left to the realm of J.D.'s daydreams on the more polished "Scrubs." Out-of-the-blue can be hilarious when done correctly, but if the joke is too far out in left field, it just blindsides viewers and leaves them confused and alienated. Such was the case with "Life's" pilot episode, where Laz sees the 1960 epic, "Spartacus," and then spends the rest of the show trying to organize the employees of Yippee Hot Dogs to revolt against their oppressive boss, Mr. Hut (Maz Jobrani). This is apparently relatable to the way that Kirk Douglas leads a band of slaves to buck the yoke of Roman oppression.
Somehow, it seems unlikely that an 18-year-old deadbeat who works in a fast food joint would know much about classic film or the finer points of Ancient Roman history. As a result, the "randomness" is forced, and the backbone of the whole episode collapses. If "Life on a Stick" wants to have any hope of redeeming itself in the future, it will remember to leave the quirky '60s film references to Lorelai Gilmore and stick to more universally appealing material.
One bright spot in the show is Molly (Saige Thompson), Laz's 16-year-old half-sister and the only cast member with a decent sense of comedic acting. Her character as the angsty teen girl is pretty clich?©, but her fast-paced wit, biting sarcasm and deadpan delivery are a welcome contrast to her brother's plodding jokes and inane commentary on French fries.
If credit is to be given where credit is due, one can freely give kudos to "Life on a Stick" for taking audiences outside the box of the typical family sitcom. It's just a shame that everything they did makes the audience want to crawl back in.
