New Clothes, Same Great Personality

What do you do when bad style happens to good people? Everyone knows a person or two who isn't living up to their full fashion potential. With all the makeover television shows these days, one can't help wanting to transform his friends with a little friendly style guidance. This, of course, is far easier said than done. For most folks, being told that they need help with their appearance is not a terribly pleasant experience. Therefore, one must be sure of their intentions, have a clear game plan, and, above all, not trample all over his or her friends' emotions.

Before attempting to stage a fashion intervention, there are some important questions you must ask. What will your friend gain from a new look? Remember that not everyone has to share your sense of style. Don't try to make someone into another Gap clone. You don't have to be trendy to be stylish. Your friends aren't going to gain a whole lot by you barging in and completely obliterating their sense of self by making them look like people they aren't. Always keep your friend's personality and lifestyle first in mind. He may look great in trousers and a dress shirt, but why should a student look "business professional" every day in class?

So, when is it appropriate to offer a few helpful fashion tips? Only give advice if A: you feel you can truly improve this person's quality of life, and B: this person cares enough about the way they look to appreciate an improved appearance.

Let's face it; some people just don't give a thought to their clothes, hair, etc. I would say that this is a very small minority, because most of us feel more confident when we know we look nice.

Here's a perfect example: you have a friend who is intelligent and charming but never gets a second look because her hair covers her face and her clothes are so ill-fitting that you can't tell that there's a person underneath all the fabric. She thinks she looks fine, but her messy exterior doesn't do justice to her put-together personality. Give her a face-framing new hair style and some clothes that show off her curves, and, before you know it, she'll look wonder why she never realized that she could look so good!

It's so empowering to finally realize that, yes, you can pull off that shirt you never thought you'd wear. Yet, how does one go about giving their friends that added confidence without seeming like a jerk? The best approach is that of the "mutual makeover." Never let it seem like you are the style god who reigns over your pitiable subjects. It's important to recognize that there are probably things about yourself that could use a little help. Suggest a joint trip to the salon or beauty counter for some professional advice. A trained hairstylist or makeup artist will know much more about what it takes to accentuate the positive and minimize the negative. Yet, don't feel like you have to do everything they say just because they seem in-the-know. Never let someone pressure you into a look that you or your friend is not comfortable with just because it is the "latest thing."

The same approach can be taken towards shopping for clothes. Don't go around telling your friend exactly what to try on. Discuss fits and colors that will look great on them, so they know what to look for. Make sure you are letting your friend have the opportunity to comment on the things you pick out, as well. Be particularly careful in the dressing room. When faced with the age old question, "Does my butt look big in this," keep this mindset: it's always the garment that doesn't look good, not the body underneath. Say specifically how the garment doesn't fit correctly with something like, "It pulls here," or "it bunches there." Avoid implying that the person's body is the problem. As long as you can place the blame on the piece of clothing, you should be safe. If a difficult decision must be made, defer to the opinion of the salesperson.

Finally, remember that a makeover is not supposed to cover up the person with a carefully constructed fa‡ade. Instead, it should let the person's natural assets shine. It's all about making people feel good about themselves!