All grown up: Special Friends return to program

When she was in first grade, freshman Elizabeth Brown was given the opportunity to be the flower girl and ring-bearer at her "special friend's" wedding. Little did she know that 11 years later, she herself would become a volunteer in the Tufts Educational Day Care Center's Special Friends program.

The Special Friends program matches one Tufts student with each child at the Center. The goal is to give every child the opportunity to spend time alone with an adult without having to share his or her attention.

"I just enjoyed it so much when I was little that I wanted to experience it from the other side and give another child that experience" Brown said. She is not alone. There are three other Tufts students -- all of whom are former Center students -- who volunteer along with Brown.

"They aren't the first by any means," Center coordinator Janet Zellar said. "We have many students over the years who have returned after being here in our pre-school and kindergarten to be special friends."

Corianne Babonis, a teacher at the Center, thinks the returning students bring something very special to the program. "It's a complete role reversal. They are giving back to the children something that really touched their lives and made a difference in their lives," she said.

Volunteers from Tufts -- 95 percent of who are undergraduates and five percent graduate students according Zeller -- visit the Center for a minimum of two hours a week. That time is spent in whatever manner the child desires.

"It's the child that gets to be in charge, which is unique in terms of relationships kids have with adults," Zellar said. "It's a shared power relationship -- the child and the special friend are equal."

"To have a relationship with an adult who is just there for them is really special," Babonis said.

As a child, former center student and current sophomore Stower Beals says he was full of energy. "I was the kid who would never nap at naptime," he said. So, his special friend would bring him to the Tufts tennis courts and play with him while all the other kids were fast asleep. "It was really meaningful," Beals said.

Upon arriving at Tufts, Beals recalled the impact the program had on his childhood. "I believe the goals of the program really worked for me as a child so I wanted to give that back to another child," he explained.

He became a special friend last semester and finds it to be beneficial himself now as a college student. "I get to kind of forget about everything for a couple hours, interact with kids and be a kid again," he said.

Brown also finds benefits of the program as a volunteer. "When you enter the classroom the look on the kids' faces is priceless. They are so excited to see you," she said.

The connections made between the Tufts students and the children are substantial. Brown is still in contact with her special friend. "When I got into Tufts I wrote to my special friend and told her I was going to be a special friend," she said. After being paired with a child, Brown sent a picture of them to her former special friend. In return, Brown received a similar picture from her own time at the Center.

Senior Lily Ladewig decided to volunteer at the request of her cousin, whose son attends the Center. "My cousin contacted me to see if I wanted to be Jake's special friend," Ladewig said. "I agreed because I thought it would be really fun to play with my cousin every week. It has given me time to get to know [him] better."

"There are very unique aspects to the program that each individual gets," Brown said. "You are more than a babysitter. You are a friend; you're sharing time with this person."

Beals echoes her sentiment. "I encourage other people to join," he said. "It just gives you something special."