You and your friends finally get to the party and as you elbow your way through the crowd, someone cute catches your attention. You make eye contact, exchange smiles, and you silently congratulate yourself. Moments later, the two of you are out on the sweaty dance floor, and maybe - just maybe - you end up going home with together.
Many college freshmen arrive at their school of choice full of the hope that only hooking up can fulfill. The absence of parental figures grants college freshmen opportunities that many of them had never before been afforded. Experimentation with alcohol is one of the most obvious changes, but students are also allowed more sexual freedom.
Many freshmen who come to college expecting an increase in sexual activity have found that the college reality does not match up to movie images. "I thought [my sexual activity] would change, but it didn't," one freshman said, adding that society depicts college as a time to party and engage in sexual activities.
"People expect more from you in college," she said. "I don't know exactly why this is, it might be the freedom or age. It's what college is portrayed to be."
The freshman called sexual activity a "personal thing." The pressure to have sex, she said, "affects whoever wants to be affected by it."
Now that the newest Jumbos have spent several weeks at Tufts, some of them have found that their previous notions about the opposite sex have changed drastically. "Girls in college don't put out as much as I thought they would," said one freshman who asked that his name not be used.
Some freshmen have found that they aren't "getting lucky" any more than in high school, especially those staying faithful to a high school boyfriend or girlfriend. "My level of sexual activity is the same," said one freshman who is still dating a serious boyfriend at home. "Sometimes he comes to visit."
According to sophomore Sandy Kunvatanagarn, freshmen who have committed relationships entering college have a vastly different experience than their peers. "I had a long-distance boyfriend, so I didn't hook up with anyone last year," Kunvatanagarn said. "It was the same for my roommate last year, but there were people in the hall who hooked up with a lot of other people."
And some of the attitudes towards sex in college may be residual high-school feelings - such as the tendency of people to gossip about sexual relationships. "People are always gossipy, and it crosses over in college. Spreading rumors is something left over from high school that freshmen still participate in, like who hooked up with who," Kunvatanagarn said.
Kunvatanagarn said that some may exercise their sexual freedom simply because they have never had the chance prior to college. "I think a lot of people experiment once they get to college, because they never had any experience before. I met a lot of people who never had a serious boyfriend or kissed anyone before."
Some freshmen have had enough casual relationships in high school and come to college hoping to find a serious relationship. "A lot of people I know have done the whole hook-up thing in high school- you know 'been there, done that'- and now are waiting for the right guy in college. They're looking for something more serious, more than just a physical relationship," she said.
But there is pressure to be promiscuous, and it does not always come from obvious sources, like the person at a party who wants to "get to know" you. According to the freshman interviewed for this article, friends pressure each other to hook-up with people at parties. "There isn't really much pressure from the guy, usually it's mutual on both sides. There is some pressure from friends," she said. "Some girls hook up with guys to raise their self-esteem." She described the "status" a girl may receive from her friends if she hooks up with someone older or with a fraternity guy.
Living with their peers also makes sex more visible to freshmen than in high school when sex was less seen and more heard. "I think [sex] is lot more real here, people know it happens and accept it. It is more visible," said another freshman. "I think in high school it was a bigger deal, it was like 'oh my god, they had sex,' and here it's like, 'yeah it goes on.'"
One of the oldest collegiate complaints is being "sexiled" by one's roommate. Roommates planning to hook-up post-party often develop a system to let each other know when they should steer clear of the bedroom, such as leaving a sock on the doorknob. "My roommate and I both have long-term girlfriends, so we have to kick each other out once in awhile," one freshman said.
He and his roommate agree that living in a dorm, away from parents, is more conducive to having sex, but still do not see it as often as they thought they would.
And while partying may be an important part of the freshman experience, many freshmen are discovering the delicate balance of work and play. "I'm not that sexually active. We've only had a month here, not much has really changed for me. College isn't all fun, as I thought it would be. There's so much work," a freshman said.
Perception of sex may also differ for college men and women, especially considering the stereotypes many people learn and believe. "I get the impression that guys go to college and expect to have sex with people, even if they didn't in high school. They expect that this is what you get out of college," said another freshman.
She said that girls take more seriously than do boys, but that girls use the college party scene as a way of getting sexually involved with someone without feeling guilty about it. "Hooking up is a girl thing too, but maybe not as much. Girls are looking for a little bit more than that. Girls use the environment, to hook up with someone without feeling skanky," she said.
While freshmen grope their way through the rules of college sex, returning students may have an edge in the party scene. "I don't think there was that pressure to hook up with guys last year. I think that some people, the way that some girls dressed, liked to skank it out to the frats to attract that kind of guy," sophomore Shania Wyche said.
"I think that it's really easy to hook up with someone at a frat, even someone who is a casual friend. People are drinking and things just happen. I've seen it happen to people, and its really uncomfortable Monday morning," Wyche said.
"I do think it's more of a freshman thing," Wyche said. "After freshman year you know more people and you have more outlets and people realize that maybe that's not what you want."
