Hashtag memories are not enough

Dec. 28: 17-year-old Leelah Alcorn.

Jan. 5: 23-year-old Eylül Cansin

Feb. 11: 19-year-old Melonie Rose

Feb. 15: 15-year-old Zander Mahaffey

Feb. 26: 16-year-old Ash Haffner

The five names listed above have two things in common: They were all transgender people, and they all took their own lives. These are five lives that have been lost. These are five people who felt that their lives were not worth living. This does not even begin to cover every transgender life lost, or every transgender person assaulted, threatened or murdered.

“Transgender” is a foreign word for a lot of people. I never even learned about gender identity until I saw a transgender man on a talk show and saw everything I had been feeling reflected in another person for the first time in my life. Eylül, Melonie, Zander and about one million other people in the U.S. identify as transgender, someone whose gender does not match their biological sex. I like to think of it as having a girl’s body and a boy’s brain, or vice versa, rather than being born cisgender, where the brain and the body match.

For me, transgender is who I am. My parents decorated my room before I was even born with pink and white wallpaper, pink and white furniture and a pink rug just because the doctor told them that they were having a little girl. My mom still has a picture of me dressed in a pink and white dress with a pink bow planted on top of my head. My dad referred to me as his “little princess,” but that’s not me.

I came out as transgender when I was 14, but my parents were not happy to learn that their little girl was really a boy. Like many other transgender kids, I was tormented at school. I have been called an “it” to my face. I was almost arrested for standing in line for the women’s restroom. My dad told me that he was worried that me becoming a man would make him stop loving me. My mom openly laughed when I tried to explain to her how hard it was to survive. For a long time, I thought of taking my own life, if only to make everything stop hurting.

#HerNameWasLeelah. #HisNameWasAsh.

We are just like everyone else. We sit through lectures and struggle over homework in the library. We apply for jobs and stress over what happens after we graduate. We want to be happy, but because of being transgender, we face extra challenges. We lose family, loved ones, homes and jobs because of who we are.

Just because someone looks a bit different does not mean that they are not worth fighting for. When a child walks into oncoming traffic because she cannot fathom continuing to live as a boy, there is something wrong. When a child is kicked out of his home because his parents can’t accept their child, there is something wrong. When the message that transgender people receive is that their lives are not worth living and suicide is a viable option, we need to change the message.

Leelah, Eylül, Melonie, Zander and Ash were just kids. Their lives were full of potential. They had dreams and goals and aspirations. These are lives lost because of ignorance and fear. These kids deserve to be remembered for what they accomplished, not the fight they lost. Something needs to change. We cannot let any more kids down.

Hashtag memories are not enough. It is time to turn the “was” into an “is.”

My name is Jordan.

I am transgender.

My life is worth living.