Yakarma

Dear Reader, I have come to you before about confessions regarding CVS addictions, crazy grandmothers and ill-functioning snow boots. However, today I am here to say that my name is Pooja Sivaraman and I am a Yik Yak addict. It began only a few weeks ago with Rebecca telling me about how it is the only social media app she uses. The first Yak I posted got 161 upvotes and was number one on the Hot list … the next faced similar demographics. There was a certain high that came with the knowledge that 161 people find you funny, even if it is just one line. Even if it is anonymous. It got to the point where I took downvotes to heart and upvotes to ego. My most recent Yak was, “That moment when you submit the wrong cover letter for an internship application and just sit there blankly imagining your future working for a croc factory." While the possibility of my unemployment is very real, the prospect of being on the Hot list (which it was) was enough to muffle the pain. The power of anonymity and fame are enough to drive my Yakarma to points of desperation. If anyone has any advice, please save me from yakking.

 

Dear NYSD, Black magic or eternal life?

In my opinion, black magic. Firstly because Harry Potter taught us that black magic is way more morally acceptable than pursuing eternal life, and also because "Tuck Everlasting" (1975) taught me that I don’t want to be a rock stuck at the side of the stream as life passes me by. On that note, "Tuck Everlasting was probably one of the best books and movies of our adolescent time, and we should hold on to it forever (irony).

 

Dear NYSD, Are you really my friends?

Rebecca: The downside of anonymous Google docs is that they’re anonymous.  While I cannot say with certainty if the person who asked this question runs in our social circle, I can tell you that Pooja is my only friend, or at least it seems that way to anyone who meets us.  It is starting to get embarrassing.  People ask, “What did you do last night?“ Or, “How did you spend winter break?” And my answer to these questions is always, “With Pooja.”  So to the person who asked, “Are you really my friends?" -- if we aren’t, I am in desperate need of friends who are not Pooja, so hit me up!

 

Dear NYSD, What do you think the chances are that Riff Raff comes for Spring Fling?

Rebecca: I have really strong feelings about Riff Raff, not quite as strong as my feelings for Cher but strong nonetheless. I think he’s a very entertaining individual. Not only are his songs are catchy, but his Twitter war with Sam Smith is internet gold (he thinks Sam Smith is a “chubby, little f*ck factory”). I think Riff Raff would be a fantastic Spring Fling performer. However, in light of recent weather conditions, I am worried about the viability of Spring Fling. Let’s hope that global warming speeds up a little and melts some of this snow, otherwise I volunteer my basement as the new Spring Fling venue -- you can text me for the address.

 

That’s all we’ve got for this week, keep submitting to our Google Doc. Until then, keep reading Yik Yak for Pooja’s updates. Clearly, no one has explained to her that part of the whole anonymous thing is that you didn’t print your Yaks in the Daily.