Tufts students, both male and female, sometimes lament how feminist dialogue on campus doesn’t provide a “space” for male opinions. All these women talking about patriarchy make men feel uncomfortable, some say, and this prevents them from joining the dialogue.
Since when is feminism supposed to make men feel comfortable? In what way is the destruction of patriarchy, a system that benefits men, anything but threatening to them?Of course, feminism isn’t about “taking power away from men,” but it is about bridging the relative power gap between sexes, an idea that can be inherently threatening to men, whether they admit it or not.
I’ve argued before that patriarchy hurts both women and men. This is certainly true for many men, specifically gay men, transgender men and men who don’t adhere to “traditional” gender norms.
But the primary argument for why men should care about the destruction of patriarchy and why they should be “included” in feminist discussions is not that patriarchy hurts them too. Even men who don’t fit neatly into a hyper-masculine label still benefit from patriarchy; they are not at risk of sexual assault on nearly the same level as women, they are still more likely to receive a higher salary and get promoted and still are not bombarded with demeaning portrayals of their gender in the media.
It makes no sense to say, “Hey, dude, you should fight the patriarchy, even though this system inherently benefits your gender and hurts mine.” That’s kind of like saying, “Hey, white person, you should fight racism because white privilege hurts you, too.” If it were true that these oppressive systems actually oppressed everyone, then everyone would already be fighting them.
The real reason men should care about feminism is because there is no reason, neither biological nor psychological, why a person’s gender should influence their privileges. There is no reason why women in the US should earn 77 cents for every man’s dollar, why 1 in 5 women in college should be sexually assaulted, or why women constitute less than 20 percent of the world's legislators and comprise more than 50 percent of the world's population, but own only one percent of its total wealth.
Am I making men feel uncomfortable? If I am, does it matter? These are the facts. As uncomfortable as this might make them, at the end of the day, men can be rest assured that we still live in a patriarchal world.
A few weeks ago, Emma Watson “formally invited” men to promote gender equality through her new UN campaign, “He For She.” While it was refreshing to see an influential celebrity embrace feminist ideas, Watson missed an important point. Rarely, throughout the history of feminism (which, as last week’s column showed, has been quite messy), have feminists discouraged men from helping the cause.
Who is telling male Tufts students not to write a column about feminism? Who’s telling them not to join Tufts Vox and promote reproductive rights? Who’s telling them not to condemn sexual violence on campus?
No one. If men are absent from the discussion, it’s because too many men on campus choose not to participate.
Most conversations I’ve had with male Tufts students about feminism are not about its importance, but about whether or not feminism has “gone too far” or “villainizes men.” But I also know many male Tufts students who are passionate, well-informed and willing to speak up about feminist issues.
So why are we still saying that feminist dialogue on campus -- or anywhere -- “excludes men” from the conversation? Perhaps it’s because feminist dialogue only excludes men who question the validity of or need for such dialogue.
You’re making me uncomfortable
