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The Tufts Daily
Where you read it first | Thursday, March 28, 2024

Not much to keep up with on this week's 'Kardashians'

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It had been a long, hard seven weeks as dedicated “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” (2007–Present) viewers waited on the edge of their seats for the end of the season 12 hiatus. But finally, on Oct. 23, the anticipation ended and the Kardashian-Jenner clan was back on the small screen. And what a dud of a return it was. For some reason, the manufactured drama and shenanigans were just not coming together this week. Maybe it was an off week, or maybe the Kardashian family is already so present and discussed ad nauseam in the media that the last thing anyone needs is another hour of them driving around and talking to each other on speakerphone every week. But anyway, let’s dive into this week’s titillating episode, “Khloe’s New Breast Friends.”

The episode opens with the unveiling of Kanye West’s “new” music video for “Famous” (2016). That was the music video from the summer in which West put a bunch of nude wax figures of famous and infamous public figures in a bed together. It kind of broke the internet for about a day and a half. This brings up one of the inherent problems with “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.” The episodes were all filmed months ago, and the biggest events, such as this music video release, have already been covered by mainstream media. Now that the episodes are finally being aired, not only is there no new information, but the events are also fairly irrelevant at this point. Kim did try to give some new insight into the video’s meaning, but what she says is fairly incomprehensible and not even worth repeating. The main thing this sequence does is plant a seed for drama later in the episode, because Kris is clearly hurt by the fact that Caitlyn is included in the video.

Kris’ underlying feelings come to a head after she finds out Kim had helped Caitlyn pick an outfit for the ESPYs. First, she texts Khloe that Kim was being “#disloyal” and then, over speakerphone, calls her a traitor. This actually seemed like a pretty understandable -- if not slightly irrational -- reaction from Kris, since no doubt her divorce has continued to be straining, and it makes sense that she would want to feel like her children are on her side. But, in true Kardashian fashion, these real feelings were dealt with by going to the suite where “Pretty Woman” (1990) -- one of Kris’ favorite movies -- was filmed and wondering aloud, “What would Julia Roberts do?” What nice conflict resolution.

This week’s other dose of drama revolves around Khloe potentially getting breast implants. She explains that she has been thinking about them for a while, and since her recent weight loss had caused chest shrinkage, she is now seriously considering some artificial enhancement. This is not groundbreaking in any way. Khloe herself says that in Los Angeles, people get breast implants like they fill up their car with gas. The real question is when Khloe is going to confess to getting butt implants. It is not possible for someone to lose more than 40 pounds but somehow have their butt get larger and perkier. Digression aside, Khloe proceeds to prance around with various gel inserts for Kim as well as Scott, who is bored because Kourtney took the kids on vacation for three weeks. At least looking at Khloe’s fake boobs is better than taking off on a three-week bender and getting photographed with more 20-year-old Instagram models. Wait a second, is Lord Disick exhibiting signs of personal growth?

The dumbest moment of the week goes to the one and only Khloe, who reveals to Scott that she does not know the difference between a nectarine and a peach. If only she spent as much time reading up on fruit variations as she does organizing Oreos in her glass cookie jars.

This episode was basically just like any other -- the show tries to make it seem like real things are happening, but it’s actually just a whole bunch of smoke and mirrors (or rather, contouring and waist trainers). This week barely had any Kourtney, so it was pretty much doomed from the start regardless.

Summary
2 Stars