Read between the lines

Someone asked me this week if NYSD was just Rebecca and me talking about our personal lives and whether that is considered an "advice" column. To this, my response was…obviously. Yes, Rebecca and I do primarily talk about ourselves, but what better way to get advice? A large part of advice is learning what NOT to do, which is exactly what our SWUG-like personal anecdotes provide. Unlike your average advice columns, NYSD has a literary take on things. We really want our readers to engage with the content we provide and try to deduce the wholesome advice we are providing. Additionally, NYSD also provides you with top notch opinions on politics, the environment and general things that piss us off. This week, daylight savings time is on my hit list. Firstly, only select countries decide they have the power to literally alter time. Secondly, I already have 12 hours of jetlag to deal with, who gets off giving me another time change? Also, the policy is apparently used to save electricity. My question is, how are we saving electricity if we have one more hour of darkness? Doesn’t that just mean keeping the lights on an extra hour? Take it from the dynamic duo that brought you the news of dangerous microbeads before the New York Times -- daylight savings time is a sham.

Why is your food so funny?

Rebecca: I find this offensive, unless the person who submitted this question is referring to something Pooja cooked. My food is not funny -- I am great at baking brownies. Pooja, however, once told me she would make me coconut rice. She used vanilla flavored coconut milk. Her rice tasted like a mixture of sunscreen and Malibu Coconut Rum. Likewise, Pooja views expiration dates as suggestions. After her housemate, Nayana, went abroad, instead of throwing out the groceries she left behind, Pooja ate wrinkled kale for weeks. So yes, Pooja’s food is funny, and the reason is her inability to read the labels of her ingredients.  

When one is texting a potential romantic partner, how should one go about "bringing it home?"

Rebecca: I am often told that I am a terrible texter. In fact, I have been told that I “text like a boy” because I “don’t use enough Ys after Yay.” The main complaint is that I type exactly what I think. If I am going to be somewhere in five minutes, I will write “Be there in 5.” It has been brought to my attention that this can be read as a command to the person that I am texting. Pooja should probably be answering this question instead but, personally, I think puns are the way to go. I am a sucker for wordplay. For instance, if you’re in the same class as your love interest, use that as material. If I had a crush on my lab partner, I’d ask them if they felt the chemistry too! So get texting and get punny reader!

That’s all we have for this week! Please send us questions to our google doc or TUFTSNYSD@gmail.com!